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For this neurodivergent AuDHD brain, time is fungible, and not all measurements of time are equal. A day on my fave projects zips past faster than a bullet train, but a day doing receipts is like wading through an emotionally draining swamp, full of spider webs.
My temporal perspective is often off and not by a little bit, it can be off by a whole universe. So it is time to go travelling in time, and who knows? Even space itself! To a place where nothing is as it seems, and time is both endless and always running out. The ADHD acts like a hall of mirrors, distorting your reflection, enhancing, augmenting, squeezing and outright lying to you about your own morphology.
Let’s take a look at my own specific Spiegelsaal of Temporal Distortion… My Brain.
This particular organic specimen of cognitive compute, eyes a task and thinks, in its best trade’s voice “Yeah, I can probably bang that out in 2 hours, maybe even an hour if I stop thinking about it and actually crack on. So, be a love, pop the kettle on and stand back, things might get a bit messy.“
With the best will in the world that’s magical thinking and downright self-deception at its core. FFW to Stuart 8 hours from now, and the job has gone through a few iterations, several rabbit holes and two unexpected trips to Screwfix. You find a man with a very ruddy complexion, probably tired, almost certainly sweaty, very definitely swearing, depleted in nourishment and with a thirst for the ages and feeling like he’s about to self-combust.
My wife will be nearby, gently chuckling, cheering me up and praising the effort, if not the efficacy and ensuring I am brought back to a baseline by plying me with food and drink, and packing me off to the shower with a cider. Deal with it, Cider Shower, try it, it’s a thing. Obv. only try it if the law allows and you are of legal age, consult an adult, wear PPE, ensure you have done the proper risk assessment and have applied for the correct permits in your jurisdiction, and have the necessary license and training to operate a water powered, domestic cleansing unit, whilst operating a sponge with an open alcoholic beverage in a moving shower spray, whilst wet. Yeah.
EDITOR’S NOTE – yes, I am editing my own blog, this is not the New Yorker – deal with it. (There’s the ADHD right there on the page… The side quest, the double side quest, the over sharing, but the detail though, I mean, c’mon – did it not paint… stobbit Stuart, man get back to the story – Oooh Bakewell tart, and a cuppa, don’t mind if I do! brb)
Lets just say I am not great at getting going, getting to the point or getting past a Bakewell tart and a cuppa. I am also not great at sizing up a task that I have not done before, or one with many variables, or one of those projects which ‘unfurls’ as it goes. They can be tricky. One of my customer’s pays me per piece of artwork. Ten hours or two, same price. There’s a scale too, more complex etc. But the gist is, if it goes over 2 hours, I am on my own time. That does focus you somewhat, but that’s the point.
Somewhat focused.
Not “Completely” focused.
Somewhat – and that is variable depending on which set of circumstances is currently happening…
It’s hard to accurately judge your capacity when your capability is not consistent.
However, if it’s a task I have done before then I am much better at sizing up the time budget and allowing for hiccups one might encounter.
Better… note that. “Better“, not perfect, not consistent, but “better” and that’s better, on some days…
So, lets have a quick review – so far, we have “somewhat capable” and “slightly better”, productivity going great so far in the ADHD Timeline then..
Working knowledge and muscle memory are one of the reasons I like order and routine. The precision of doing something to an agreed cost and hitting your allocated deadline is such a good feeling. But mess up and miss it, and the rage can start to descend, a pitch tar-like substance obscuring your senses, further exacerbating one’s ability to see things as they are, and suddenly the universe is against you and the world needs to shut up and do-one.
Where’s my sonic screw-up driver???
Then lets add in the hyperfocus, it’s a wormhole where hours go to die, you emerge with bladder/thirst/head/posture/cats screaming at you for relief from all their ailments. Side thought – I think first line of defence against Daleks, send in cats. That’ll confuse ‘em…
Anyway… back to the main plot.
It’s disconcerting to awaken from a self-induced miasma to find that the clocks have changed and we have a new Prime Minister but thankfully DFS still has a sale on, phew. I know how a bear feels after hibernating, I too need to eat – a lot.
Hyperfocus may produce a lot of work in short-order but going from 9am to lunch in one task without intermission, distraction or other side-quest is bewildering. I really feel like I “come to” – much like the giddy-fools who give themselves over to stage-hypnosis. I am fine, honka-honka! See? Nothing wrong, honka-honka.
There’s a temporal vertigo to hyperfocus, it can make your schedule as predictable as walking across a bouncy castle, tipsy, in clown shoes, that are, ironically too small. (Honka-honka.)
This means your own sense of time is often off. However, when not strapped into the hyperfocus express, destination; “detailed and done”. I can usually tell the time within 20 mins, sometimes within 5-10mins. Example;Last night, woke, thought It’s about 6am… checked watch 6:10am. Not a useful skill on your CV, but what aspect of neurodivergence is useful on a CV?
But if I am deep into a hyperfocus, or distracted by a myriad of conflicting and context switching tasks? Then, baby, I am more turned around about what time is is than Pete Burns at a hoola-hoop competition, in a maze. (Turned around, right round baby, right round).
This can create issues when pricing work, as I said, pricing comparable jobs is relatively straightforward (taking out the variable capacity), but sometimes you are quoting based solely on the time you’re putting into a project, and that’s where things get quite elastic.
It’s hard to judge how much time to allocate, but anything you plan can be derailed especially when you know that:
A) ADHD Chaos Raccoon could blow up your plan for a day by refusing to do as asked and instead you fix the three noisiest items in your office because they are driving you nuts (CREAKING FROM THE SHADE ATTACHED TO MY StuDio will end me if I do not sort it, GAH!)
B) Your brain decides that it needs the emotional regulation of not doing anything vaguely related to productive work. Instead it wishes to lie down in a spa and be pampered all day. But, as budgets are tight, a packet of GF choc biscuits will suffice and is 100% necessary before we get going. Guess I am off to the shops then…
Oh and a pot noodle if they have it.
Shut up!
No you shut up!!
anyway…
C) DID YOU SEE THAT “SQUIRREL”… and then we’re off to the dopamine mines, and in we plunge, headlong… again… What is it this time? The plural of Octopus is Octopodes you say? Fascinating, tell me more about Greek grammar, go!… A Scottish octopus is known as a Scotopus you say? Uh-hmm, right, right, right… Learning all sorts today.
And that’s every day, all day, and twice on the weekends (matinee shows from 2pm). It is just exhausting, like a wild unicorn on which you ride, off on a whim and a prayer. Yes, I know, it’s “wing and a prayer”, but such is my want that I thought it suitable in this instance to change it, as a literary flourish. And even that sentence shows I cannot be trusted to stay on course for more than five minutes, or a paragraph
That makes planning tasks a complete nightmare, you sit down, to do list in hand and it may as well have been someone else’s tasks because your brain is currently tidying your email inbox as it’s now the noisiest thing in your head. All whilst planning to alphabetise your paint storage, and, therefore, before you get to the list of “to do”, you have to complete the sidequests of doom! Where deadlines go to wither and die.
Plan all you like but as you skate into the day, ass-backwards and three FANTASTIC new ideas boiling your brain good luck on getting any of the items that must be done, done anytime soon.
Just sitting down to write this I’ve
… and made a coffee, which was warm 2 nanoseconds ago, and now is stone cold… why? (ah yes, writing “hyperfocus”, which as we’re discovering is slightly less focused today, the Unicorn is moseying through a pasture, rather than galloping the final furlong in the four-legged cryptid gold cup.) plus answered sundry texts and stared into space contemplating some deals we’re doing right now. NONE of which was on my list of to do.. NONE.
The cognitive load to stay focused is tremendous, even a cluttered desk can add to the overwhelm and I have had a cluttered desk for 5+ years. But no more! I have spent the past three weeks expunging and organising over five years of clutter and chaos in the StuDio. The weight is lifted and all the surfaces are clean and clear. Anything currently residing on my desk is 100% to do with my actions this week. I feel lighter and more focused with a clean and clear workspace, it’s a big accomodation to my own focus & concentration that I needed. And yet.. The above list says otherwise.
How you do one thing, is how you do everything
I’m often heard saying, and it is true of the environment in which you live as much as the work you do. I have struggled with my output for the past few years, several reasons, but mental health has been on a comeback and this is part of the “return to full-strength and focus” plan that I am working on.
But of course all of this can look like being a busy fool, standing still whilst the world spins on, obsessing about the symmetry of your acoustic tiles and adjusting lens stops on your webcam. However it all helps with the emotional regulation if I know my working environment is known, measured, managed and mine to control. From the outside it might seem like folly, but for me it has been about putting out raging fires and ensuring systems are in place to deal with my less regulated moods.
Good luck ignoring it, when the “Do Not Disturb” is on, that’s bad when it’s your own brain!
The Autist requires hyper-regulation, and now it is all tidy it can settle down and stop feeling quite so out-of-control.
So, what about the ADHD? Well a newly tidied space is a novelty, so we get that dopamine dump. The issue is when it no longer seems new and exciting, what then?
Yes, that is an issue, and one to watch for but the excitement of a clean slate and keeping things in order allows for more creativity to come to the fore. Thus I do hope that, for a while at least, the ADHD beast will be satiated. And it really is Dr. Technical and Mr. Hide-and-Seek. One shows up and keeps things in order until you need the services of an unhinged maniac who can conjure chaos into creative genius.
But yet; you want me to be on time for something? Good luck with that! I am either 30 minutes early or ten minutes late with a great story. For some reason I cannot just get somewhere 5 mins before, park and walk in. I’ve even arrived 30 minutes early and sat outside the venue and somehow still managed to be late into the actual meeting. Combination of distractions, phone, thoughts and a sudden urge to use the facilities, with panicked search for suitable arrangements. Gah.
And sometime the brain just will not budge, I can be sat, staring at the clock, and my brain’s both panicking at how close to the start of the meeting it is and why am I still in my PJs, whilst simultaneously thinking “I am sure I could answer that email, and check that stat, and fill in that form”… It’s like you can see the edge of the cliff approaching fast whilst you keep tuning the radio in the hope you’ll hit the “WBRW – the perfect soundtrack for plunging into the void…”
And ever was it so in my head. Time has not diluted the “gift”.
Teachers regularly reported “he seems bright, if only he would apply himself” or “Stuart is constantly distracted” or “Stuart can be a disruptive influence in the class“, of course I was disruptive, I DEMAND CHAOS, the alchemy of the creative process and then I get to impose ORDER plus I was probably bored, which is like kryptonite to my system.
(I’ll overlook the “seems like a bright boy”, SEEMS? Grrrr… heckled by my junior school teacher! Took years to land… ooof. Thx.)
To drag myself back to the throughline of this blog post, there’s also the energy required to wrangle the entire mess of the process to some tangible timeline. Deadlines are amazing at focusing the effort, and I gave myself to the 21st September to finish the tidying and get back on course and ensure it all was done. Is it ALL done, DONE? Lets go with “mostly” and I can upgrade to “yes” as I tick off a few cosmetic tasks.
Things can get into a terrible mess, but it’s my mess and when I am ready to unmess it then I will do and when I am able to spare the energy, but some messes come with emotional baggage, which really craters your capability. All that weight of expectation, your own scathing review or your current performance, and the anger at having to manage all of that and still be unable to do the thing you HAVE to do, which can make any task more slippery than a greased eel.
So what’s the big takeaway Stu?
Don’t store your eels and grease in the same container? Probably?
No!
That’s a terrible ending…
So, err, here it is…
This is not going to work for everyone in all situations but I find that in complex tasks, where the outcomes are unclear and variables may change, then I need to have a system to ensure I stay regulated and don’t spin out, chase rabbits down holes and general end up on a side quest or three.
I have this method where everything is broken into two columns – wish lists and deal breakers.
But this system allows me to choose and prioritise work according to my energy, time and available resources. It allows me to whittle down any complex project or other such multi-layered problem into “the things that HAVE to happen” and “ the things that, if they were to happen, then bonus!” – get the mandatory tough stuff done first, everything else is a bonus!
This can be adapted to suit a lot of situations – a social meet-up that you are obligated to attend? What are the deal breakers? Going is mandatory but staying, not so much… So, lets say 2 hrs is a deal breaker, 1 hr is a wish list item. Anything in between is going to feel like a win!
For me today’s deal breaker? Dealing with the utility company and their toothless threats… today I am Whatevs Kev, and they can swerve off.
Today’s wish list – get this blog finished, and as you can see, we’re smashing it! Yay! Mostly because I am not dealing with said Utility Company. And have the bandwidth and spoons to write the blog. If I did both then
A) Probably be dysregulated, definitely get wound up… and burn through energy…
2) No blog – or poorly thought through blog at the least due to lack of creative spoons
(note from future Stu – I smashed this out in one hyperfocus and day after I am editing this!)
You can use it for specific tasks, or to pick which tasks, I have used it to choose menu items when you get the “BIG BOOK OF ALL THE MEALS”… usually sticky, and then have to triage what you can eat, what’s allowed with what and all the other rules you unconsciously accommodate at home.
It’s a simple tool to help make sense of the complex, and I hope it helps.
There we are, take all that and do with it what you will; I’ve used this wish list/deal breaker process from buying a house, to deciding meals. It’s not foolproof and relies on gathering all the data for making the right decision. It also helps when things go awry, you can review and see if the “unexpected item in the baggage area” was predictable or was new info, and can help for decision making another time.
This process allows you to triage the entire task, project or other life event that you need to make some quick decisions about. It’s not perfect but it helps keep me grounded in my own best outcomes when dealing with any situation. I even used it when looking for a suitable candidate as a spouse. Yeah. Not exactly romantic, but my partner is amazing and ensures my best interests are always met, and I do the same for her, you know. Marriage/partnership/love 🙂
I do hope the above ramble will help, just a few thoughts around the challenges of having a brain that will not wear a saddle, won’t be told what to do and can sometimes take all your plans and decide we’re off to the seaside for lollies and chips.
As this winding narrative shows, sometimes the journey is the lesson, and I am hoping reading this has been a worthwhile journey.
What works for me, may not work for you, so do let us know if there’s anything you do to help retain some semblance of balance, control or regulation, always willing to add tools to the toolbox of life.
Listen to the Business Oddcast for more exciting tips and tales of misadventures in the garden of neurodivergence.
Strap in, we’re off for a wild ride
I would like to dedicate this specific blog to my great friend and co-host/co-producer on the Business Oddcast, Hannah, she’s supported me over the past month and allowed me to wander off and get this tidy up done. Thank you for your msgs and listening to my whingy whiny complaining. Lets now go smash it!
We’re currently writing a “Handbook for the Recently Diagnosed” – a sort of primer, provided day one, that explains the practical, lived realities of neurodivergence.
A lot of commentary, narrative thrust and general focus in neurodivergence and particularly autism circles, is to define, delineate and describe what‘s going on, we do like definitives after all. But, and I must admit my research is probably flawed, but, there’s little I have read, seen or gleaned online that looks at the practical realities of living, learning, earning and, well, life in general getting by with a brain that is a wild stallion at a petting zoo on good days. On bad ones, that beast has broken out the paddock and is doing doughnuts in an Asda car park at 2am… Story for another time perhaps.
There’s various testimonies and lived experiences but mostly it’s a lot of frustrations, venting, self-therapising, and lived experience, but not a comprehensive “if this, try this” a kinda Sam Costa’s top tips for living day-to-day with a recalcitrant and magnificent brain.
The thing is, that however you arrive at “Destination Diagnosis”, either self-realisation or formal assessment, the lived reality of what your brain and nervous system IS, allows you to start building a better life. HOW you arrive is of no importance, THAT you realise who and what you are, that’s massive.
Once you’re dropped off at “Destination Diagnosis” that’s it, there’s no one to meet you at the pick up point, yer on yer own, make us proud kid! There’s no courtesy bus, no welcome wagon, no taxi. There’s not even a signal, wifi or vandalised phone box to sob in.
The support post diagnosis is, at best, woeful. You may get some links and a leaflet, I share exactly what I got later in this post. Whatever your thoughts on support, just think about the lived experience of the person living for 30+ years and then getting told; yeah, all those “things”, yeah, you’re Autistic. That part in the movie where the plot twist gets revealed and just like that, ::insert wind blowing noise:: Keyser Söze has left the building, and you no longer know who you are.
Once passed the initial head trip “If I am not who I thought I am, then is anything real?”
You then turn to “What’s me? What’s the autism?” Erm… So if you are not who you thought you are why continue doing all the things you do? Are those things things YOU really like, or were they performative and for show, just to “fit in”? You do this high wire act alone, thankfully I had a very supportive partner and family, mostly because I HAD built a life the way that worked for “me”, and in fact “US”!
So, you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile thinking, this is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife. HOW DID I GET HERE? And suddenly those lyrics take on a whole new dimension. Hat-Tip to awesome autist David Byrne and further extended hat tip to Tina Weymouth bass boss, and the rest of Talking Heads for that matter.
As Hughie Green might say, “and I mean that most sincerely folks!”
Who’s Hughie Green? Then you have clearly never seen the magnificent TV series Opportunity Knocks, a proto BGT where Hughie held court and I thrilled at the chance to one day be on the tellybox with my impersonations.
The child who would mimic everyone, spend hours walking round the garden having conversations, making up all the voices from the faces on the telly. A rich inner world that span on an axis that I controlled, much better than the world I saw outside my head.
That world proved to me over and over, from school, clubs, training and workplaces that if you do not fit the model of human they expect, you’re instantly the issue, the weirdo, the “difficult one”. Or the medical establishment tries to “fix” you, or at the very least ensure you’re not a problem for the rest of gen. pop.
This is why, now more than ever, we need to build a neuroinclusive workplace, in fact we need a neuroinclusive society. The benefits would be to EVERYONE not just the NDs suffering daily to be heard, seen and taken seriously. Ease of communication, understanding of different styles and approaches would help all of us, whatever our neurotype.
::Stuart steps off ADHD Tangent Soapbox::
When we last check in our hero was raging at the lack of support post-diagnosis…
Let me share with you the full extent of the support that you get once you have a formal diagnosis.
At the point of formal diagnosis, a process which, for many people is both frustratingly long, offering you a lengthy wait or a big bill as your choice, before sitting in front of assessors and finally getting granted a certificate to put on your wall. (Spoiler Alert: there’s no certificate!)
Before you get that “prize” there’s a tortuous and exhausting process to go through, with questionnaires, appointment chasing and interviews all whilst hoping your executive function does all the right things at the right time – I nearly blew it because I missed a crucial step in one email and failed to fill one part of a form.
This process comes after many months/years of research into every aspect of neurodivergence as you wait, the doubt gnawing at you. The entire process is not built with ND brains in mind. The energy required, the executive functioning required, the focus and the FORMS! DAMN YOU FORMS!!! ::runs outside, shakes fist at sky::
The endless, frustrating questions, where you mostly want to answer “IT FRICKIN’ DEPENDS!”… Can I wear socks, well, yes, I CAN wear them. Do I want to wear them? IT DEPENDS? Also, what sort of socks are we talking about? My socks, socks that I have been handed that are warm/wet/white? A lengthy woollen hose or a short sports sock? C’MON PEOPLE, I NEED DETAILS!
Whilst you wait for this process to reach destination diagnosis, you deep dive into the entire back history of, and any topic associated or tangentially related to, neurodiversity and consider possibly doing a PHD in it. (deep breath)
after doubting yourself and thinking you will be charged with wasting the NHS’s time, you get formally diagnosed. Apparently no, it is not normal for people who are not “on the spectrum” to spend 2 years and countless hours and money on trying to disprove that you are indeed “a bit special”. But at age 56 I was running out of things that it might be!
I once even considered the notion I was a psychopath – just because it might then offer me some respite to this one question “WHY AM I SO DIFFERENT?”
But whatever your pathway to finding out the reality of the situation, as a late diagnosed adult I want to share everything you get given and all of the facilities, funding and general underlying support you get at the point of diagnosis.
So… Are you Ready? Are you Steady? Is your name Eddie? (My Mum said this all the time… Hello if you ARE indeed an Eddie, welcome!)
Here’s the full package of support that you get…
DRUM ROLL…. brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr
You get an email with your full written report, which contains an assessment of every dimension in which your brain is broken, different and generally odd, all couched in medical terms that make you sound unhinged.
BUT WAIT… YOU ALSO GET…
AND THE CROWD GOES WILD…
“I’d like to thank my wife, my children, my good friend Hannah Logan…”
That’s it. You get a list of all the ways you are broken, deficient, and different, and some “Post-assessment resources“. The biggest of big woops.
“We’ve prepared some helpful guides to support you following your assessment.” enthuses the email…
NOTE - Hi - Editor Stu here it's 10 July 2026, just checked the diagnosis notification email received Sept 2025, 312 days and the link to those resources is broken, not even a full year. No post-diagnosis follow up, no counselling, or trauma support, pushed in the deep end, good luck. Well, I guess up to now I’ve survived, oh well keep treading water Stu.
…there’s absolutely no support directly after diagnosis. You’re just left to figure it out, and as someone very late diagnosed, I kinda been doing that since I was born, so, well I guess I just push on with the “cope and hope” strategy, seems to have worked (mostly) thus far.
You are right Sandra*, there is Access to Work – https://www.gov.uk/access-to-work – this is what the Gov. says about eligibility, “You must have a disability, illness or health condition that means you need support to do your job.” – Which is helpful, and genuinely could be of use if you need it, but I was not told about this and found out whilst doing some additional research for an Oddcast. But that’s the point, no one told me about it, I stumbled on it when looking for something else entirely!
*humble apologies to anyone with that moniker, including the lovely people I actually know, but it made me laff, I always hear it in a Birmingham, Midland, Black Country accent…
Yes, thank you Sandra, (you heard it in that accent then too, right?) you could also apply for a “Personal Independence Payment” (PIP) https://www.gov.uk/pip – but after two years waiting for diagnosis and having every part of your life poked and reviewed to see if, yes, he’s an “odd ‘un“, last thing you want is to dive into a whole other world of form filling and further means tested scrutiny.
And the horror stories I have heard first hand from friends who’ve applied and have been through, and still enduring, the process. It doesn’t sound like a fun time. I am not good with this type of bureaucracy, so best for them I do not go anywhere near it.
But that got me thinking… and one thing my brain does do well is solve problems, often at 3am, but timing is not my strong suit.
The movie with Michael Keaton, a young Winona Ryder, Alec Baldwin, Geena Davies, Catherine O’Hara – loved it since I saw it back in the eighties. My kids introduced me to the musical, which has recently landed in London and a family trip is planned. My daughter’s already seen it 4 times, it’s only been open for about a month! SPECIAL INTEREST much?
If you have yet to witness this marvellous film/musical, there’s a guide given to the newly-dead titled “Handbook for the Recently Deceased“, and so we arrive at the “Handbook for the Recently Diagnosed“, a not altogether original title as a quick Google will reveal, and it’s just the working title – more a sub-header, title page kinda thing.
Because, quite frankly, there needs to be something more concrete than “here’s a few links and some government support, that we won’t tell you about”, because quite frankly it’s disorientating to be told you’re not who you think you are. I spent so much time at odds with the world, out of step, misunderstood and struggling and now you tell me why!
It’s all a bit of a confusing time, and you have to start to reconsider so, so much about every aspect of your life. Having lived my own life since my mid twenties, and just got on with ploughing my own furrow, I had fewer barriers to employment than most, but it is still a disorientating time.
Aged 25 suffering a major burnout/breakdown/life flatline I just decided that I was going to stop listening to everyone else, they just seemed to not get, understand or otherwise process that my experience of the world was not the same as theirs. Their advice and guidance, may have been well meaning, and with a genuine interest in my best interest and good outcomes, but that didn’t make it any less wrong.
I’d spent 2.5 decades on the planet without knowing the reason, or having a “label” to help shape my perception and give me language to help me gain a full understanding of why I seemed to be out of step with everyone around me.
So I just opted out and started to forgive myself for being “odd” and not really being able to explain it. Various Dr’s attempted, psychotherapist, sleep experts, cognitive assessments and diagnosis from bipolar, and hypermania, via insomnia, and OCD and a whole cast and crew of ideas, symptoms and pharmacology all with added migraines! Which keeps you eternally hopeful that at some point you might find some semblance of “nOrMaL“. Whatever that might look like, but like most things in life you’d know what works for you when you see it.
and I have realised that the decision I made aged 25 was the start of it all. The self-acceptance that I was not broken, just different, magnificently fanatabulously awesome. I often thought I was an alien on a mission to gather as much knowledge as I could about humans, and studied them intently, fascinating creatures.
Hence my childhood mimicry mentioned at the start, which led to a career in stand-up and lookalike/impersonations because I followed my own intuition and backed myself. Everyone else’s feedback was along the lines of “REALLY? An Ali G lookalike? Nah.“, but I just knew I could do it, it wasn’t something scary to run away from, but something big and shiny to run towards.
I remember one specific gig, where I was a surprise guest, to give my wife a toast for her birthday, as Ali. The host/main act was sceptical, and openly so, when I told him what I was going to do. Anyway, afterwards he stated “you were amazing” and enthused that I was so much better than he’d thought I might be. And that’s the whole point, that you get underestimated, second-guessed and otherwise diminished. Yet, here we are 32 yrs later and I am still pursuing my shiny, sparkly, rainbow interests, dancing like everyone’s looking and knowing I make a positive difference to my community.
Deciding that rather than going to beg, like Oliver for a second bowl of gruel to fill me up, that I’d just start building a life that required nothing from anyone and I could make all the accommodations myself.
Why wait for permission to be magnificent?
Remarkable and extraordinary doesn’t look at the clock and wait until 9am on Monday to turn up in a suit. If my energy and passion arrive in a shipping container at 3am, then you betcha bippy I am going to be working, living and loving the project whenever my energy arrives.
In some regards it was a selfish decision (Insert Hannah – “a Necessary one!“), but I decided to put on my own oxygen mask first, you cannot do your best if you do not give yourself the best.
As a policy it only gets you so far, but I needed to withdraw from the toxic people around me to gain some perspective. I saw that actually, you need a community around you, you need others to help you see things you can’t and help you with the things you need help with. A family (whoever you call family!) is the first layer, then good friends who really understand you and have your best interests at heart also adds further protection. Expect false starts, and family members it’s best not to mingle with. Then you find your “community” or “tribe”, which adds strength in numbers, and validation.
This gives you space to figure out who you are and be accepted, and that’s all any of us are trying to do, get through a day, be understood, accepted for who we are and be valued for our whole self, not just the convenient bits, or the socially acceptable bits, but the whole of you.
It’ll share a lot of what we’re delivering with the Neuroinclusive Workplace giving practical steps you can take at work, home and everywhere you go, once you know what is actually going on in that amazing brain and nervous system of yours, an Owners Manual. It’s some thoughts, ideas and suggestions, allowing you to kind to yourself. Not a proscriptive list of tasks or must-dos, frankly that kind of book gives me the right itch.
This is more a pick it up and flick to the section that you most need to read at that time. Bit like a car maintenance manual, it’s the engineer in me, I do like a manual, the oilier the better!
There’s a long way to go, and we have yet to complete the first draft, or collate the research, but the plan is in place and like any worthwhile journey it’s going to take some time to get it completed.
But once it is ready – we’ll share it!
If you have any specific topic or other question that arose once you found out or were diagnosed as being neurodivergent, get in touch.
We would love to hear any insights or thoughts you had, or areas that you still are not sure about. We would love to hear from you and include your questions, or suggestions in the book.
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One of the biggest mistakes local small business owners make is undercharging for their services. The price sort of being an apology for having to charge something, a fiscal acknowledgement you exist.
Hello, I’m Stuart and I’m a reformed undercharger. I have seen the light and thankfully I have been charging my value for almost 15 years now.
Phew, there, said it, feel like I have cleansed my soul. The awful truth is that at some level you KNOW you are undercharging, but seem unable to put the price you want. Probably due to a version of this conversation with yourself… (For this example I am going to use a product, but the same rationale goes for a service business.)
”OK, I’ve seen other businesses selling these for £X – so I will charge £X minus desperation tax.”
And the “desperation tax” part is the discount you make to the price to just get the ball-rolling, and “get some sales”. Because, if no one buys, well there goes your self-worth, your dignity, the world hates you and your RSD flares hotter than the Sun burping after a comet vindaloo.
Because price is not just what you charge, it’s how you get seen in the marketplace. It’s your self-worth. Price is as important as branding and what value you provide to your customers. Simply believing that:
“If what I make/do is good enough then it should sell”.
Right?
Wrong!!!
Take a look at something you own. Why did you buy it? Myriad reasons, wasn’t JUST price alone, right. Colour, size, cool-factor, you had one before, never had one before, you were lucky and it was just “there”.
Whatever your rationale, price is not the sole consideration in ANY transaction. You can get a Lidl instant noodle pot for £0.69p but if I fancy the same thing in a Motorway Service station, well… nothing says “I’m minted with money to burn” than buying a family meal at a Motorway Services in the UK. I once paid £3.50 for a pot of noodles. Granted it was a branded “Chonky Wide-Boy” size instant noodle, but still, a cup of coffee and a filthy pot of noodles shouldn’t cost you nearly a tenner!
Rant for another day… But the point is; £3.50 vs £0.69p – both the same experience (give or take) but wildly different pricing.
What you charge is not just the price tag but also understanding and having a rationale for your pricing policy and how you are arriving at that price is probably the problem. And there’s a large dollop of self-worth stirred in for good measure.
Let’s take a look at the rationale and pick it apart and rebuild it so you never have to worry about over or undercharging again.
The rationale for a service business is usually along the lines of:
Costs + (Time x Hourly Rate) + Taxes = KACHING
You then work on the costs bit, because you cannot do much about the taxes bit, and your “Hourly Rate” is what the market will stand, which you don’t determine.
Except!
You are missing the important bit, the “Hourly Rate” is not determined entirely by raw market forces alone, there’s also perceived value, and branding both help boost your bottom line as does supportive local word of mouth (You cannot sell a bad reputation). Also, what does your diary look like? If all the hours in your week are worth the same you may wish to reconsider that.
There’s nothing I like more than to hear the magic words “We have an emergency” or “We need this asap” to change the pricing conversation. I don’t charge people more because of the short deadline, I charge them more because the short deadline means additional time I will need to spend in the office. I’m effectively opening another till and creating more hours for them in my day, so their work can “jump the queue”.
Just like Disney and all the other “fun park*” operators do, you can pay to jump the queue or otherwise avoid the 2 hr wait to see your lunch again. The point is, not all hours are created equal, and as such your pricing policy needs to reflect that. I don’t work Fridays (or rather, I work exclusively on my own projects). You should think about using that red rope around your time to make sure you carve our business development time.
Also, seniority is a huge factor. If you’ve ever had your barnet, sorry, “hair” styled at a salon then you know junior stylists are cheaper than Miguel the “Salon Director” and if you choose a trainee, they will give you a haircut free!
Do not underestimate the years of experience you have, that counts for a lot and you should reflect that in your pricing as a differentiator. Highlight it, share your experience, prove the gap between you and the competitor with only a few years under their belts. Explain the dead-ends avoided, the speed of progress and other benefits of working with a highly experienced practitioner or provider.
Let’s talk about energy, you have finite energy, whether ND or not, there’s only so many hours in a working week. I know this because I found out the hard way, willing yourself to plough on despite pneumonia, 80 hour weeks and a young family is unsustainable and you will end up in hospital, at Christmas.
Let me counter these unhelpful intrusive thoughts and feelings and offer you some tough love, which I learned the hard way…
Failing to charge what you are worth is unprofessional and devalues your entire sector, industry and skill set and does not serve your customers.
Because you, your customers, and the world needs you to be here next year and your profit allows you to do this.
(Pssst: If you have not lifted your rates in the past 12 months you are likely to be undercharging by 10-20% – So… maybe take a look at that?)
I totally understand the, “but Stu, we do not charge by the hour…” argument and let me share some industry experience and knowledge of retail sales and manufacturing products.
Many moons ago I designed and had manufactured novelty products with my production partners at Paladone (hi Paul, Lawrence, Dominic!) – I came up with the ideas, they turned them into stock on shelves of retailers across the globe.
That item that cost 50 cents, ends up on the shelf at 10X that cost. At each stage the margin added inflates the cost.
That’s why you can find end of line products in shops going for stupidly low, below cost prices, the retailer just wants it gone, it is taking up warehouse and shelf space and they need to liquidate their cash quickly. They are looking at the overall profit, and if they made a decent avg. margin letting a few end-of-line items go at cost (or below) just lifts the cashflow.
Different industries have different pricing structures, plus also bulk ordering changes things, as does longer lead times. So the above is just my experience, and that was a couple of decades back, but the principles still apply.
So if you are a small batch, or local producer then pay close attention to your costs, and time you put into the product. You need to ensure you have sufficient margin to withstand pressure of business, downturn in sales, uptick in costs. Keep an eye on cashflow – think about margin on the entire line, not just the single product. Making your pricing more elastic can help during slow or busy times.
You don’t do yourself, your business or your customers any favours by undervaluing your products or services. You just give yourself one more thing to stress about, and you got out of employment to reduce the stress, anxiety and general low mood, right?
Charging the right price is a little bit of alchemy, but undercharging is a crime against yourself, you are picking your own pocket.
You get 40 hours in a working week, except, you don’t, you have as many hours as you feel like or are capable of working. But, we all know when the brain says “no”, good luck getting it to do what you need to do. Your productive hours are fewer, plus adding in the admin and all the work just getting the work, you may be down to 3 or even 2 days of productive work, so; 24-16 hrs needs to make enough to cover your nut every month.
What does 16x Your £hourly rate = for you?
Dare you do the maths?
Remember, whatever your income is, you still need to divide it by ALL the hours your work, not just the billable hours, so you need to divide the total income for the week by ALL your hours worked and it starts to look less than ideal. I know that many self employed business owners earn less than minimum wage.
That just kills your business over time – the erosion of energy and lack of progress, of not generating sufficient income to have money to save towards retirement or whatever goal the business is helping fund. PLUS, you gotta take time out for yourself, and another tip I would suggest is to base your annual income on 10 months productivity. 10 months?
Yep – you have fewer weeks of work in a year than you might imagine… in the UK we usually have EIGHT bank Holidays per year – there’s eight Mondays off right there. You may decide to work, but your employees and suppliers probably won’t. Bank Holidays can be soul destroying, whilst everyone else is off and you’re grinding. Oof. (note: full transparency, I am editing this on a BH Monday…)
Whilst you might not think about “sick leave”, as an ND you know – 100% that you’re going to have days at a time where you are flattened, usually accompanied by a side-order of cold or other ailment. A cold and stress can see you on the sofa, doom scrolling Netflix and sob-eat all of your emotions for days.
That’s another week. According to AYE-EYE from The Googs…
“The statutory minimum paid holiday for a full-time employee in the UK is 28 days a year (equivalent to 5.6 weeks). However, the actual average allowance typically ranges between 33 to 34 days (including bank holidays)“ – Goolge AI May 2026.
Any decent employer is going to give you circa 26 days on top of your Bank Hols, that’s business days remember. That’s another 5 weeks of time off.
Employees therefore probably get somewhere around 7 or 8 weeks of time off their job every year that’s circa 1 day off for every 6 days work. As a self-employed business owner, when was the last time you had a full, uninterrupted week off?
You HAVE to factor in time out of the business or at the very least, unproductive time to be kind to yourself and treat yourself like the valuable employee that you are.
That means basing your income on 10 months a year, which gives you some margin of error when it comes to the hours you can put into income generation.
Let’s say you need 1k per week to survive as a family of four in modern UK, depending on where you live and your lifestyle that may just be enough to keep your head above the water or you may be thinking I would LOVE that level of income, but lets just do the sums based on this number.
That’s 52K pa. Now you have to earn that over ten months – that’s 5.2K per month, or £1300 per week-ish.
Divide by your 16 productive hours gives an hourly rate of around £81.25
Now your wages come out of profit, and I would argue that you also need to retain at least as much again in the business to ensure you can cover the various tax liabilities and unforeseen “financial shitstorms“. This pushes your hourly rate up even higher to circa £150+ an hour.
Soooo… Can I ask…
How does that look against what you are charging currently?
I accept there’s a local max for pricing, and you will need to adjust but it shows you how pricing impacts your ability to sustain a living wage. Many of the small business owners I see who fail do so because there’s simply not enough reward for the effort and risk, stress, anxiety etc. That’s demoralising and you cannot sustain your motivation in the face of starvation.
As ND business owners or self-employed there’s a price to pay for undervaluing your time and that drains you to just survive. You are worth more than scraps off the table. Just because your energy is variable doesn’t mean it is worth less and should be sold cheap. If anything it’s a rare commodity and people who get it are lucky to have your skill, focus and eye for detail.
Plus the world demands you extract maximum value from your time, and charging a premium is your way of marking yourself as offering a superior product or service. Of course you have to live up to that promise, and that’s a topic for another day! None of this is intended to shame you or make you feel bad, it’s just the stark reality of running a small business and remaining self-employed.
If you want to explore this topic, or get involved directly with us and amplify the voices of ND business owners then email us here: hosts@businessoddcast.com
For a limited time only if you are a small business in Hampshire you can get FREE fully funded business development training and support from Hampshire County Council Business Growth Hub via SiGNAL BIZHUB – and that means you get access to our advanced training materials for business for free and gratis.
You need to join the waiting list and be signed up to the SiGNAL BiZHUB members platform. All of the info is at the link, and join our “Circle”, The Neuroinclusive Workplace – where you can directly ask us questions. As well as using the SiGNAL Business Growth Tracker to see where you need to focus to grow, and access to experts in each area of improvement, all for free.
It’s a truly unique programme and we are really made up to be involved. Ask us questions or go to the link below and sign up…
Visit: https://signalbizhub.com/what-we-offer/funded-business-support/
*Fun Park – Obviously going to a “crowded, over stimulating, hell-hole where the rules of human behavior seem to no longer apply“, is fun for some and not others. You do you.
Someone I met recently at a business networking event emailed me asking me some questions about business, specifically business partners. They recently had a bad first-business experience and major financial reversal and wanted some guidance about shared business ownership.
Speaking to the person I could tell that their enthusiasm and energy would not be down for long, and they already had Plan B in the bag and ready to launch.
They stayed in touch and wanted some guidance as to “what next”… and as their next venture was very firmly in my “wheelhouse” we got along like pyromaniacs at an open house.
My initial advice was “”get a job”, might as well be earning whilst the flywheel of business spins up to speed. In my early years temping and ad-hoc jobs kept me in pasta and baked beans and very much got me through the economic choppy waters of a new business venture.
Before we get to the specific email in question here’s the three bits of advice I shared and it is broadly speaking the three things I suggest to anyone thinking of becoming self-employed or launching a new venture:
1) What’s Plan B if it goes wrong? Even if you do not have Plan B fully plotted, know what the signs are that you need to stop Plan A. What’s the cut off?
2) Do you have savings? Start today. Even if in debt, savings are a habit, even if it is a fiver a week, start today. If you are in debt, pay down the highest interest stuff first, and once that is paid, go to the next highest and so on. At the end, start saving the exact amount you were paying a month in debt as a reminder of what you have achieved. Well done you!
3) Is your lifestyle that of a monk in a cave? Get rid of every subscription, or payment you absolutely can and focus your attention on the basics and build from there. You will need every ounce of focus, attention and desire to grow your business. Financial jeopardy is always going to be a distraction, so reduce your outgoings as much as you possibly can.
These three points were the main area of our conversation, we exchanged pleasant series of emails and I thought no more of it… Leaving the door open to further correspone in future, because in business, you never know…
After a few weeks with no contact, I received this email, BOOM:
“Hi Stuart
Just on my morning commute to work (yep back to the 9-5!) and in the middle of the next business planning cycle.
I made friends with this girl who is an absolute fire cracker. She works in a high end clothes store in [UK TOWN] and is a demon seller. So I have been trying to convince her to start a side hustle with me.
I sent you the google drive link to the business idea. [REDACTED] sales training.
I think it’s time to give up on her. She has that employee mindset and is just full of ideas why not to do it.
I really don’t want to go into business on my own again. Where’s the best place to find co-founders who are super talented and available. I talk to so many people and it’s so rare to find people I would go into business with.
I’m really not fussed what it is at this point. Just want to make some proper money.
Any advice would be appreciated“
Wow… That’s quite a chunky chew…
So I replied… and with their permission, here is the reply.
This is business advice about business partners learned the hard way, over 30 years. If you are going into business with someone else, take INDEPENDENT LEGAL ADVICE. Do not use BizWoo sourced from a spicy on the Interwebs, do your own due diligence! USE YOUR OWN JUDGEMENT!
enjoy…
TO: Business Contact
FROM: Stu Morrison
SUBJECT: Business Partner Hell – Eye Witness Report
[NAME]
Well done on getting a job – they are useful for regular money whilst you figure out how to earn “f@ck you” money. But bosses suck, so get with the getting…
With regards to your email…
WOOOOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…
Stop…
Take a moment, few deep breaths, box breath… in to a count of 4, hold (count 4) out (count 4), rest (count 4) do that a few times before reading the rest of my reply.
::BREATHE::
::PAUSE::
::EXHALE::
::PAUSE::
DISCLAIMER
I am not a lawyer, advisor or coach, I am, at best, an unreliable witness and your mileage may vary… that said… Here’s some direct, and unfluffy insight from someone who has spaffed so much money up the wall chasing pipe-dreams that I eventually had to build another wall, french drain, and sewer system…
You have an inner fire that is not going to be contained by a 9-5, you know that, I see that, but you need discipline to focus that into a laser. I’m not talking about “gym bro” type discipline, I am talking about the ability to remain on task, on mission and dialled in. Whatever the distraction, and there’s always a distraction, you keep showing up and doing the do.
Now, sure, that sort of grit, the get-it-done mentality is a given, right? Yeah, but here’s the point to it, no matter how much you THINK you have it, until the rubber hits the road, you may never find out if you ACTUALLY have it.
But like any “fucking hard” thing, you do it BECAUSE it IS hard. What’s the point otherwise? Right?? So if we know that the way to reach our goals is going to be one long hard slog, we better have a pretty frickin’ amazing reason for doing it.
And that’s what you’re missing. You’re missing a “why”.
So, why do I do what I do? My why is – 2 reasons…
1) I NEVER EVER EVER EV.AH. E.V.E.R. have to have a boss. Because bosses suck the joy out of life, and are usually wrong about everything and I never had a boss who didn’t think his position didn’t afford him some sort of grace and favour with the staff. We should all somehow bow and scrape… which I am never going to do, king or pauper, we’re all born with an arsehole and I am too fond of pointing that out for that employer/employee relationship to ever last long. Four jobs before the age of 23 and one of them was a five-year apprenticeship started at 16. So, yeah, bosses can do one. As you see, I REALLY do not want to have a boss ever again.
2) To keep my family from starving. Initially it was to keep myself from starving, and to be frank, I was doing a piss-poor job of that before I met my wife. Now, not saying “go get wifed up“, but sometimes you need to be fighting for more than just money and fame for yourself.
I’m better at fighting someone else’s corner than my own, or I used to be. Now I am a diamond-tipped, Teflon-coated mutha-fucker if pushed. Wasn’t always like that, but as that famous business philosopher Al Capone said: “You need two things in life, a smile and a baseball bat. 99 out of a hundred you just need a smile…” What people also don’t appreciate was the bit most people fail to quote: “the other guy also needs to know you have a bigger bat than him“.
Don’t go and buy a bat. This is not bat advice 101. This is:
YOU NEED A MISSION ADVICE.
A reason why. Beyond the fiscal reward, because earning money is straightforward, most people complicate it. Here’s my formula:
Find something you can replicate over and over, that’s not too complicated and is already in demand. One of the hardest things to do in business is change someone’s habit. Designing products, creating new systems and offering new ways of doing something is always, hands down, the hardest thing to sell.
Why?
Changing behaviour is hard; as a business or salesperson it’s the single hardest thing you can accomplish.
You ever try stopping a habit? Now you’ve got to convince someone else to do that, with words and pictures only… Good luck. It’s quicker to stand in your garden and burn tenners.
So. Don’t go and try to create a whole new marketplace – find a marketplace with money in it, and find a reason that you want to get into that market. You can sell anything, you know that – so why not sell something you love, have a passion for or otherwise just want to be involved with?
I found posters, novelties, and writing. I used websites and business to build out my wealth but remain passionate about communicating in the written form, as well as having fun and enjoying life. You also need an economic engine to provide for your lifestyle. Lesson for another day.
OK… Lecture over…
… to your actual email…
“I made friends with this girl who is an absolute fire cracker. She works in a high end clothes store in Guildford and is a demon seller. So I have been trying to convince her to start a side hustle with me.“
This sentence has one of the highest red flag counts for a potential business partner I think I have ever read.
Let me break it down.
“I made friends with this girl“
Exactly how, how did you make friends? Party? Queue for self-checkouts? I am going with ‘chance encounter’. So you have no idea about her values, what she’s made of under pressure. How will she react when you’ve got 14 days until payroll of £300K and only got £200K in the bank and a customer who’s just filed for bankruptcy owing you £200K…
You know how you do when in a “burning building“, how will SHE do? You have started to build your armour, how’s hers? Nothing will save your business if two business partners are not aligned, in sync, and fully understand where their respective strengths and weaknesses lie and are absolutely rock solid in their conviction for the business.
“who is an absolute fire cracker.”
Run, run fast, don’t look back. These people are absolutely essential, but make for terrible business partners. If she has dyed hair, then “AWOOOOGA!”…
Now, speaking as a fully-fledged and diagnosed member of the ‘Spectrum Gang’ and having had varying shades of bright hair colours, this is why I say run.
I know, I’m a fucking nightmare to be in business with.
Two reasons;
How you do one thing, is how you do everything, and if they are always coming up with GREAT IDEAS be careful, because that energy can be very hard to pin down to the grind of making it happen once the great ideas have been had. ::stuart skips away to his next project::
Some businesses thrive on that relationship, but for that to work the partnership understands the dynamic and is self-aware enough to ensure it never becomes a problem. Jobs & Wozniak spring to mind. But for that to work, you both need to know each other and have a “in the trenches” bond to make it through the tougher times.
“She works in a high end clothes store in [REDACTED] and is a demon seller.”
Says who? Never believe a salesperson when they say they are the best… THEY ARE SALES PEOPLE, THEY LIE FOR A LIVING! I know… I am one.
And when I say “lie” I mean bend the truth to the letter of the law and not beyond, whilst also showing the biggest upside to the customer.
“Oh, you look amazing in that, pair it with these shoes…“
See, you’re thinking about new shoes… and… Who owns the business? Family member? I’m going to say an aunt? Pure guess, but I know the store type and have done websites for a few in the past. I no longer do retail store websites because this type of owner broke me. 🙂
“So I have been trying to convince her to start a side hustle with me.” – AWOOOOOOOGA! Red flag trifecta. Cue the confetti canons, dancing girls and frustrating days ahead.
Business partners do not need convincing, it should be a mutual agreement, you’re dancing not wrestling. Plus, what happens if it goes wrong?
Let’s say, one year from now, everything’s proper fucked, people owe you money, cashflow is tight and their rent is due and you cannot, absolutely CAN-NOT, afford both of your wages. Who gets paid?
Do you do 50/50? How will they react knowing they cannot pay rent? And, with that domestic stress, how will they be performing? How quickly does it become “I was doing OK until you roped me into this bad idea, my aunt was right about you all along“?
You see when it is all cake and candles, running a business is a joy and, to be honest, a piece of piss once you get the hang of the cycles and master the mindset. But when it goes wrong, yeah, it will blow up like a Council JCB hitting WW2 ordnance. It’ll make quite the mess of your life. I know. Been there, got the drunk festival tattoo.
“I really don’t want to go into business on my own again. Where’s the best place to find co-founders who are super talented and available. I talk to so many people and it’s so rare to find people I would go into business with.”
Good idea, spread the risk, but that also comes with risk as you identified; how do you find reliable business partners?
By showing up and being reliable! You don’t find your tribe, they find you. If you want to be considered a proper business owner by other’proper’ business owners, then you have to walk the walk, a real chicken & egg scenario.
Having a side hustle is a great way to begin. You met me networking, and that’s where you find the gold — the people who show up, and where you find the people you want to work with.
You can also obsess about a specific business, contact the owner, ask for some advice, but they’re busy, they don’t know you and are likely to be dismissive. Unless you do something for them first.
A website audit was my way in. A piece of work with absolute business value, offered without any strings. Do business, don’t do business – here you go. That sort of thing gets remembered and remarked upon. And that’s when I did the hard yards – nowadays I rarely get asked to “audition”. That’s a privilege of rank and seniority, but you can achieve that in a short time with the right focus and of course product or service.
I would suggest you disconnect “time for money” as soon as possible, finding a way to have some income without having to work for it. A Stocks and Shares ISA with dividend stocks is a good shout. It’s going to take a while to get any meaningful income, but it’s the practice, the dedication, the life skill of saving, and getting some income.
Get proper financial advice — don’t listen to a weird rando on the emails.
So, to your final line…
“I’m really not fussed what it is at this point. Just want to make some proper money.”
Danger, and biggest red flag – you have ambition burning a hole in your pocket, and nothing the market likes better than someone keen to “NOT MISS OUT“… oof, I have been taken a few times because I naively fell for someone’s promises and wasted time, money and sometimes a lot of both at once. Be careful, tread softly and be strategic. Sure, AI is everywhere, but soon it’ll be a commodity like the “internet” . Plus, I got really lucky and ‘timed‘ the early internet wave right (right time/place) and AI is already starting to lose its lustre and small businesses are wary of new tech.
I often suggest “toilet paper and teabags” as my strategy. I offer businesses something they can’t do without, or will buy no matter what. Hosting, websites.
Also have other interests too: diversify from your main business to protect income sources. It’s more than just one thing, you’ve got to take a step back and do all the things at the right time and for the right reasons. Going out and shouting “I WANNA DO BUSINESS” is likely to end badly, desperation is never attractive in business or dating, again, red flags.
Your best strategy: find something you can get passionate about. Is that [REDACTED] sales training? Maybe? But ask yourself these questions before proceeding:
Is there a big market for this [INSERT BUSINESS IDEA]?
Are there businesses with budgets to spend on [INSERT BUSINESS IDEA]?
How many people do you have to convince in an organisation before you get an invoice paid?
Do you have a list of those people right now?
How long to get to those people?
3/6/12 months?
Can you fund the business until you are positive cashflow?
Plus what about the current competition? Are there already businesses doing this? Are you simply treading on their toes and inviting a costly legal battle? Even if unfounded, if they’re established their pockets will be deeper…
See how it starts to unravel. So, find something you can scale – that you have a ‘moat’ around, something you can protect. Forget Intellectual Property (IP) – that’s a moat but requires deep pockets to truly defend.
So what’s the best approach?
Find something you can get passionate about, go digging, get into an industry that you like, and do a deep dive. Spend 6 months REALLY understanding the numbers, the logistics, or the capacity. Find something that’s a broken pain point (oh, they’re everywhere). Something that causes genuine costs to a business. Next, find something, or someone, that plugs that gap, fixes that issue, bridges the problem.
Introduce Player A to Player B – with you taking a cut of whatever the outcome. Low risk for you, easy sell for each potential player. Eventually you get good at sniffing out where there’s opportunity, and that 6 months becomes 90 days, becomes a month, a week… you sniff out the deals quickly. If there’s no way for me to make a cut, then I introduce them anyway — then that’s two people who owe me 🙂 (or at the very least will remember me!).
Then you find something that is such a good fit between the two players that you buy into one or other, or both sides of the sale, and then you own a piece of the businesses. That takes longer, requires more stamina and insight, but here’s the thing, you have learned to manage your risks at every stage. You own the pie, as well as the tray it’s baked in! You might eat the pie, but you have the tray left to bake another, and it’s the recipe and ingredients that are just a cost of business.
You have to do the hard yards to get to eat the pie. It’s just how it is.
Well… Now I want pie and have to go eat.
Here endeth whatever this is/was…
Go get stuck in…
EPILOGUE
You might ask “What gives you the right to pontificate and opine on such matters, Treacle?” and, from the safety of the visitors side of the bullet proof glass, I would confess I’ve had some business “break ups” over the years, including a few “sub-optimal” endings. So I feel 100% qualified to share the lessons learned from being there when trust, money, and lack of principles play out.
Business partners can be very financially beneficial, or a lifestyle wrecking ball. Choose carefully because one type lifts you up, challenges you and always has your back. You remain equals and if the project ends, you have a useful business ally to call on in future.
The other type throws a strop, ignores the Share Holders Agreement (your business ‘Bible’ when it comes to partners), and demands unfair compensatation in a two week window, or they’ll close operations until compliance. This is all without seeing the most recent accounts. Before Christmas. Whilst you’re dealing with a friend’s funeral.
Yeah…
::deep breath::
Sometimes in business, it takes the best of you to make it past the worst of someone else and that’s why I feel very qualified to share my thoughts.
The words in this article are only here because of the various work/life processes I have created and share throughout this blog. For me writing is a process, and one that is the culmination of years of being unable to sit and focus and get started.
As I explore the topic of Executive Dysfunction I will share my lived experience and some of my process, coping strategies and personal “hacks” that help me run my business and my life.
As all the best storytellers say “Let’s start at the beginning… it’s a very good place to start”
AKA “Why can’t I just start?” – well, where do I begin? Oh yes, the beginning, silly me, just written that above. Right!
Now, I need to just pop to make a cuppa, brb.
20 mins later… three quick tasks in the house and a phone call.
I’m back. Still here?
Good, right, ok, getting started is always hard…
…moment…
An email just popped in that I am waiting for. (Dammit Stuart – remember to switch off notifications before writing, what a muppet! Yes but I cannot ignore the email now I know that it is there and now it’s the loudest thing in my head. GRRRR.).
Right, had a quick look, yeah that’s not the email I was expecting, this one is a very toxic email and it is definitely going to have to take a ticket and wait, it’s all very black and sticky, and needs the smoke to settle before I can get to it.
Right. OK.
Getting started, this can be a big problem for some NDs, not me, I have it down, mostly… and by “mostly” I mean “on a good day I can squeak through, some days it’s a shit-show”.
Today it is looking farty with a chance of smells.
The problems start when you are trying to choose which of the myriad tasks, demands, and obligations of running a business you do first. Even when you pick the mega urgent stuff like disarming the bomb with the shortest fuse, or sorting the pole with the wobbliest plate, your brain can refuse to even engage with starting a task. Like pressing identical poles of a magnet together, your brain just sort of goes NOOOOOO… anytime you get near thinking about the task, imagine a cat resisting a cuddle, or a toddler being put in a car seat, NOPE, not happening.
Even if the alarm bells are ringing and all sensibilities are suggesting that maybe creating a comedy poster, designing a new treasure hunt, or researching battery technology is not a priority right now, you plough on. It’ll all be all right.Probably.
Your inner Autist is staring at the deadline, and then at their watch, back and forth, telling the ADHD toddler currently having a fun time at the park, that it’s “time to leave the park and go do some homework”. TODDLER SAYS “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”. Cue, rolling, thrashing, wailing…
It’s not just discipline, lord knows I had enough applications of that in my life, from the adults who physically assaulted me to correct my behaviour, to very strict trainers, bosses and senior colleagues who would “encourage” you to move quicker. Not to mention the shame and guilt dolled out at will for poor impulse control and executive dysfunction.
It’s not laziness, because when my hyperfocus kicks in I can go at a task until I am physically incapable of continuing. It’s usually the call of the bladder, or the ache in my muscles and energy depletion that stops me. Tenacity is what I call it, but stubbornness is the other side of that coin and I can be as stubborn about starting a task as I am about stopping.
Therefore I have routines, easy and simple things that slip me into “work mode”; writing is one, focusing on a train of thought helps me to quell “The riot of the possible“, and close the door on the mob of clamoring voices raging at the gates, demanding my attention. For me it is a meditation for the mind, to document and offer self reflection, in some ways I use it to heal, it’s quite soothing. Plus most of my writing is from lived experience and it’s good to get it out and hopefully benefit others from whatever speck of insight it may contain.
So… you’re here for solutions, right?
This is a tricky one, what works for me may not work for you, but certainly routines help, from the moment I get up, to the point I sit at my desk, I try to keep the same routine, it is settling, comforting, and consistent. If you have a brain that is like a bucking bronco when you try to mount it, then a soothing, calming and simple routine to get sat in the saddle is my suggestion.
Once I am locked in on a task, and it is flowing, it’s like gravity takes over and it rolls along. That’s until it hits the VALLEY OF THE UnKnOwN (said in a mysterious ‘Tales of the Unexpected’ narrator voice)…
What is the VOTU that you do so well? Good question, glad you asked, nice pun. Erm. Now you see, you interrupted the thought process, and I forget where that was going. And here we are deep in the Valley, wandering around with a flashlight looking for the path out, up and away. Hello? Anyone up there? Hellloooo. HELLLOOOO?
It can be an external distraction, a noise, or notification, or, as happens most often for me, one thought splits my attention in two and suddenly I have two thoughts competing for my focus. Just that alone can derail any kind of viewing, listening or conversation.
The thought that jumps up and starts waving at you, this could be the solution to a customer issue, remembering that I forgot to put the bins out, or any one of a bazillion unfinished things, or new things, or old ruminations or new special interests. These thoughts stroll confidently into the room and ask in a loud authoritative voice “ANYONE HERE OWN A BIG BLACK ESTATE CAR REGISTRATION GOD 999?” and my metaphorical mental mourners turn around with WTAF/Pikachu Surprised Looks on their faces.
You can be midway through a very complicated set of instructions, and your brain randomly picks on a word someone says, like “Mode”. Perfectly innocent word, that your brain picks up like some shiny rock and starts to ruminate on it. “Mode, model, modal, mo-dal, mo-del, moddal, oddly moddly mode, such an odd word, say moody modal ten times out loud” and you’ve said it five times loudly before you think, hang on, what was I doing? And that’s why I can’t use the library anymore. You’re on the bucking bronco before you realise you’re wearing chaps, stetson and the wild pony ride has begun.
It’s all so exhausting, the whipsnap of context shifting can be bad at the best of times, when you do it to yourself, you really have to snap out of it, and marshall your thinking. It’s like part of the recording just drops out and it’s nothing but static, of course “static” for my brain is every single commercial with a puppet for the past ten years playing all at once (other personal inner hellscapes are available, ask your local brain).
So, what do I do? Well, “remove distractions, of course, like DUH!?” is the usual guidance. No, really? Never thought of that, feckin’ genius, give that person the POTUS “Really Brains Good” medal.
To anyone who’s ever been told to calm down, or just focus, ask the recently slapped person standing before you, “How do you remove your brain when it is distracting itself JONATHON? HMMMM??” then stare at them in thunderous silence, arms crossed.
I use a sprint-rest-sprint-rest method on busy days but in the wider context, I cannot go from big project to big project, I have to recover from something which requires in-depth and deep work over a sustained period. I can do it, but I better spend enough time recovering. I do not think it arrogant to state, when you’re good, people wait and respect your boundaries.
But lunch at 12pm is sacrosanct, and my 4pm cuppa and “something nice” can be used like a carrot to keep me on target through the afternoon (mmmmm. GF carrot cake). Plus batching tasks and setting my mission at the start of the day helps keep things on track. Today is a writing day, if I go “off piste” that’s OK. I know that I SHOULD be writing, and as soon as the distraction has passed, I can fall back to the main theme of the day, writing.
Does it ALWAYS work? No, but like I said having routines and a system of tools to use when the need arises can be a gamechanger. One of the biggest gamechangers I developed was naming, saving and cataloguing my computer files. Yeah, sounds like a complete headache, instant soft-on talking about file indexing on a first date, I get it. But I know that with my three rules for naming files means I can search for and find any file almost instantly. If it’s on my system, I can pull it up in seconds. Example; during a recent zoom call, a client asked me about a CSV file we’d used in testing 5 years previously. I had it open in 5 seconds. They were a bit shocked that I had instant access to this development file from over 5 years ago.
All I had to do was remember the three rules and my file search found it on the archive drive in seconds. *see footnote
Right, where was I?
Writing, check…
Literally have missed HOURS as I had my head deep in a task. The most recent example, yesterday (at time of writing), I missed a scheduled Zoom call because I was distracted filtering emails in my inbox, and setting up an automation. This was a combo of time blindness and mission creep and those two bad boys are productivity wreckers.
Here’s how time blindness showed up when dating my wife, and note: this was before “smart phones” were a thing, but I had an early Nokia mobile. Early in our relationship we agreed a time and date for me to pick her up. In the meantime a good friend invited me to go to his gym and get a sauna. I loved the idea – so agreed. All of this was done without even glancing at a calendar, not that I used one much back then. The double-booked day arrived, and my friend came round, we had a lovely soak, splash and a sauna and he dropped me home. I then get ready, and go pick up my wife for our date, shade over 2 hours late. She still brings the conversation up;
Incumbent-Wife: “SO!? WHERE WERE YOU?“
Me, not picking up on the intonation and emotional state: “I’VE BEEN IN A SAUNA!”
I thought she’d be pleased for me, and was therefore confused at the immediate cancellation of the date. And the mobile phone I could have used to give her a heads up? In my bag, the entire time. Not once did I think to call ahead, or mitigate the situation. Had no idea of what time it was, and how long it had been.
When a hyperfocus kicks in with me, good luck getting my attention, especially if it involves a special interest. Thankfully reader, she married me, and accepts that sometimes I have only left 5 mins to get ready for guests, which may also include moving the car, having a shower, choosing an outfit, choosing another outfit for when the first one becomes unacceptable after the second course, and deciding on socks/no socks/what shoes conundrum. Plus the hair needs to be “‘just right’ for the event, what “just right” is, well, I’ll know it when I see it.
If you have any coping strategies, let me know. But don’t suggest “Alarms”, I will stop/snooze that thing and ignore it. “Redundancy” number two listed “inconsistent timekeeping” as a key factor in letting me go. If you’re old enough to remember the storm of 87? I slept through that.
Oh boy… this, for me, is a biggy. If I am locked in on a task, or an outcome, and things change then I’m a grenade with the pin out. Not angry, so much as stressed at the sudden change, and thus ALL the carefully weighed variables now requiring cataloguing and reassessing, it’s like the temperature rose by thirty degrees and I’m wearing corduroy underwear, suddenly I’m really uncomfortable and no one knows why.
Communicating clearly is key at this point, and not just what the change is, what the expected change is for me SPECIFICALLY. Do not tell me the overall thing is no longer the overall thing; you got to tell me, directly “Stu, that means the other things you were doing don’t need to be done”. Don’t expect me to infer that I am off task because the mission changed. Here’s an example.
11 year old Stu liked to play football, the tactics evaded my brain, and “team work” only works when your “team” aren’t also mostly your bullies. In one memorable match the “Mac Fisheries Minnows” as we were known, were playing the best team in the league, everyone in the league was better because we were last. Our goal difference was so big that the local paper stopped printing it because they only had space for 2 characters, true story.
We gathered in a pre-match huddle and my mate’s dad, the team manager and Mac Fisheries warehouse chargehand, a gruff friendly man but very direct, looked me dead in the eye and said something like “Stay on that big lad, the center forward, wherever he goes, you go. You’re his shadow now.” My brain locks in, “MISSION ACCEPTED”.
He could not shake me, for 45 mins I was all over him like the measles, he was effectively out of the game as I was just too much of a distraction and his team stopped passing to him. At one point he got very annoyed as I recall, and stood on my foot. But, the mission was the mission. The fact I was also out of the game made no difference to the score, my team mates could lose without my input, and also refused to pass the ball to me anyway. Probably why I had been given my orders on reflection.
The half time whistle blows, and the teams split off into their respective halves for oranges and a tactical shouting at. As directed, I stay with the player I was assigned to mark, following him to his team huddle. Everyone from the opposition is now staring at me, and the kid I’m still marking is now properly agitated and remonstrating with me, this catches the attention of the ref, and our manager who came belting over to see what was going on.
I had been given specific instructions to stay with him and that was what I was doing. Half time whistle was not factored into my instructions. You got what you asked for, of course the adults blamed me, suggesting I was being “obtuse“ whatever that meant, but I heard it a lot when I was a kid and was introduced to the concept of “Malicious Compliance” and was benched. One simple illustration of being 100% correct and completely wrong at the same time. And so, so many times since.
I couldn’t switch the context of that instruction, it wasn’t just being an awkward sod, I was doing as I was instructed. As an ND child you get caught out over and over again trying to interpret, learn and decipher what you are told, and yet, still somehow get it wrong and so you find it easier to just do exactly as told, even if it seems illogical, which can still be wrong. You literally do as asked and are still WRONG! Think about how that erodes your confidence in your own judgement over time.
Our mask is built through a series of failed experiments with the NT world, where trial and error, shame and guilt are the key steps. You learn fast as a kid but you still get caught out as an adult. It’s the social layer that starts to become very important at age 12/13, probably younger now, finding your way in the world, where you belong, how much you matter. There’s suddenly a hidden world of communication and you’ve always got your face pressed up against the glass, like a fish in an aquarium.
And that’s why it can be hard to task switch, and prioritise your work, layered on top of that is a whole load of social context and real world pragmatism that running a business involves. It’s a never ending revolving door of problems and stress… if you let it.
That’s why we use our Slow Business Strategy™, it’s friendly to ND brains, no long term planning, or hustle culture BS with a complete disregard for your energy cycles and focus shifts. That just guilts and shames you for being “less than” for burning out, for being overwhelmed. The systems are ableist and were not designed for you, stop trying to run Win11 on your Mac hardware.
So how do you create a system that IS designed for you?
At this point, in steps the sales pitch, amiright?
Nah, we just want you to grow and build a better life, some of our resources come with a small cost to help us run things, but if you want some help, here are my thoughts on task switching and prioritising, which we share in more considered and structured form in our guides..
If you’re feelin’ fancy, colour code your task cards:
Change card colours as required and when you have a card done, drag it to the “DONE” column and colour it green, and do a little dance!
That simple method works to sooth my brain and give me focus. When I do not know what to do, or have had to step away, I can come back and at a glance see my priorities. It becomes a habit really quickly.
When you complete a task, update your calendar, a quick note when you completed it and any salient points. Maybe a link to the folder on your PC or cloud storage. That gives you an index of all the tasks you did and when, it’s a handy reference if your brain is like mine and you can quickly review last tasks etc. We also give customers a three letter code, which helps search for calendar entries quickly too.
There may be better task trackers and systems out there. Trello has a free plan, and you can use the above method using the free plan, and I am sure you have a calendar you already have access to. That and a text document of today’s Mission Planner is all I use to remain focused.
Free, no fuss, no complicated rules, or systems.
Where to even begin? Alexithymia and Interospection are not everyday terms and even a lot of the ND community may still be unfamiliar with exactly how these traits manifest, so forgive the quick AYE-EYE provided primer.
AYE-EYE START
Alexithymia is a trait where a person has difficulty identifying, describing, and sometimes even noticing their own emotions. People with alexithymia often experience emotions as vague physical states (“I feel off” or “tight in my chest”) rather than clearly labeled feelings like anger or sadness.
Interoception is the brain’s ability to sense and interpret internal bodily signals; like hunger, heartbeat, temperature, or emotional arousal. It’s the foundation that helps you recognize “what you feel” both physically and emotionally. When interoceptive awareness is low or inconsistent, it can contribute to alexithymia, as the signals that inform emotional understanding are harder to detect or decode.
AYE-EYE END
Basically it’s spin the wheel of random on how I feel at any one moment, plus I rarely have real-time reactions to things; even quite scary, threatening or dangerous situations leave me emotionally disengaged. That can be both good in terms of being unemotional, and having a cool head during a crisis, but also means you do not see danger signals and warning signs, your body is blissfully unaware of the body language of others and itself.
It’s a minefield, where you can get tripped up by hunger being interpreted as stress, or fear, and being in the wrong emotional state for the context you find yourself in. Responding to people at the wrong emotional “pitch” or totally missing any unspoken or societal cues.
Plus, this specific two headed monster is like a rhino that can crash through any situation and appear unbidden on the scene anytime. That’s alright when it’s just you there to clean up the mess, but when Rob the Robo Rhino rides in during a board meeting, and you suddenly have an irrational desire to punch the chairperson for their choice of scent, it can be quite the startling “mind fuck“.
Imagine a large roulette wheel, each number is an emotional state, black for the good ones, red for the bad, and green for dealers’ choice for whatever-da-fuq turns up. GO…
The ‘pill’ (fun fact: actual name for a roulette ball) bobbles about not quite knowing the final result, bit, bat, bop, ping, ting, bobble, dobble, drop. What shows up??? “I’M NOW VERY ANGRY FOR NO DISCERNABLE REASON BUT THE POSTERS ARE NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WALL AND THERE’S AN ODD NUMBER OF CEILING TILES”, all whilst I have to remain calm, professional and reasonable and yet, you’re inwardly screaming for someone to turn the volume of the lights down.
So how do I cope? Preparation is key. Big meeting? Make sure I have eaten and no more than 2 cups of coffee, that it will end before 12pm, or start after 1pm (safe lunchtime), I will have my bag and EDC that ensures I feel safe whatever happens. Sunglasses, ear phones, and notebook.
This is foundational stuff to make sure I am as regulated as I can be in public. Clothing that I am comfortable in, footwear that is not overtight a snack in my bag should things run long. “Excuse me, blood glucose situation” usually covers a mid-meeting snack, no one wants to start quizzing you on your health needs and the crazed look in your eye is usually enough to stop any naysayers.
Be prepared; I have a prep routine for business events, am I perfect; sometimes, but not every time, however my “not quite perfect” has never fallen short in practice, and where my energy has let me down my systems ensure it still comes up to acceptable delivery.
A LOT of this is going to be specific to YOU, no one can tell you how YOU feel. You have to monitor your inner regulation, be mindful of your moods, engage with your emotional landscape. Even if you do not understand it, you can navigate it much better if you know that two days after a bottle of wine you may be a little more emotionally driven. Especially if your sleep has been bad, or you’re waking up in a different place. Holidays can be very dysregulating, but having some safe routines in an unfamiliar space has saved me time and time again. It’s grounding and normalising when every other input is screaming IT’S ALL DIFFERENT…
None of this is proscriptive, try it, use it, if it works great tell me, adapt it, or don’t use it, tell me anyway. What coping strategies have you developed? Let us know.
The only certainty is that if you do tomorrow what you did today you will get the same thing. Adapting, understanding and working with your brain will have far more positive benefits than trying to cram yourself into the wrong energy profile.
Find what works for you, and let us know what that is: hosts@businessoddcast.com
P.S. We’re putting together some resources to help NDs build a bullet proof business that works without your constant input, making it easy to keep track and measure progress.
Tools that we hope may be useful for you and your business and help you build value so you have more time to yourself.
Sign up to be notified when our new toolkit goes live.
*FILE INDEXING NOTE
If you got a MAC you have a decent search built in, MS users, yeah – how has Windows gone this long without fixing search indexing.
Thankfully someone else did: https://www.voidtools.com/support/everything/
Install “Everything”, it runs on your machine, doesn’t use “AI” and once it has indexed your hard drive then as you type, the files start to appear. I have never used anything else.
I’ll do a mini-guide on my filing system one day, but it means you can find ANYTHING you have done on your computer’s hard drive in seconds. Literal game changer.
Note: My Mum, bless her, was a filing clerk for Thompson Local directories, in the late 80s/early 90s, it was just her indexing, filing and retrieving EVERY SINGLE CUSTOMER ACCOUNT file for the whole of the UK.
Cherries don’t fall far from the tree is what I am saying…
Is Using AI the Ultimate in ND Masking?
Yes.
That concludes my shortest blog ever.
Listen to the Oddcast Episode 25 for more details (Available from 25th Feb 26), thank you for coming, mind the step on the way out.
Merchandise will be available in the lobby for you to take home and eventually throw in a landfill but we’re gainfully employing half a Bangladeshi village with our “show tat” and offsetting our carbon with some amazon trees. That’s plastic trees from Amazon. woof!
Obvs. our branded tat making employs the half of the village that’s been shipped off to some industrial hell hole, not the half left at home to keep their memory alive, whilst being oppressed by the regime that sold the slaves, I mean, “workers” to our supplier. Err, not “worker”, sorry that infers they might have “rights”. Erm, “Migrant workers”, (haha, yes! That sounds like they’re visiting on a visa)… We can “suspend” their “visa” and “imprison”, I mean, “return them” to the bosom of their communities from where they came. Or offer them new employment opportunities as a dead person in a pit in the jungle.
Phewww. That’s a lot to process Stuart… Bit dark… Where is this blog going?
Shut up BRAIN! Get back on track, we’re toeing the line that AYE-EYE is great for… waves in the general direction of somewhere… stuff.
ALL NEW AYE EYE, USEFUL AT DOING…. NEW STUFF!
Because aside from doing “NEW STUFF”, what has it actually done? Point to something other than some truly derivative creative output, in whatever sphere you want. Maybe some useful research time-saving, and some modernisation of some tech and admin flows?
We’ve had a few breakthroughs, and someone somewhere got it to redesign a rocket engine. But… aside from the weird hands, and weird porn gifs…
What, I say, WHAT have the Romans ever done for us? They may have modernised the road system and centralised distribution, but ask the Gauls, and the Visigoths how they feel about their village having to make way for an international two lane cart track. Ripping up all and sundry in the name of “progress” waves in another general direction.
But STUART, it speeds everything up. It does. It really does.
Except it also adds a layer of abrasion that rubs the soul a little rawer every time you cede control over your language, your ideas and your communication. It ”group thinks” and crowd sources the data to find the answer for you, but here’s the thing.
You choose where it’s hard.
Sure I can sit on the sofa all day and eat biscuits, and I have done so, no you shut up. Sofa-Biscuit day was glorious. But, eventually the waistband of regret meets the belt notch of shame and you feel all dirty and have to go get the hoover, and clean up your mess, whilst trying not to let Henry catch you with his judgy, judgy eyes. Little red judgy fucker.
And when the suits gets a little tight, like some primordial trigger, BAM! I find myself strapping on the trainers and finding out how old I’ve got, one arthritic stride at a time. That’s when you find out how hard being lazy really is.
It’s the same with the brain, use it or lose it, sure you can get AYE-EYE (™) to generate the ideas, but all you get is rehashed ideas, pattern recognition sold as thought. Data pulped, and reconstituted, flattened and left out to dry, like digital parchment.
Plus, you’re adding to the learning algo, a little of you is now in there, a ghost in the machine, a fragment of syntax, or turn of phrase, an ounce of soul. Something that the machine can mould into a new form and spit it out elsewhere. We’re becoming obsolete, one automated, mundane, time-saving, job at a time. AYE-EYE can do it faster and with fewer hallucinations than half the population on a Monday morning. #Horrible #Generalisation #AmiRight #YerNotWrong #ToMe #ToYou
Throughout my life I’ve often felt I cannot be truly creative, a rigid inflexible brain. All the rules, and the lists. The endless research before regurgitation. Sure, I have designed, performed, and created, but it always feels like a reference of a reference, at best a bad memory, photocopied, printed, and sketched, then run through a Banda machine (a reference for those of a certain age, but you never forget the smell when the school secretary was running the “mimeograph”, the stench of toner, feet and boiled cabbage and the distant screams of bullying. Ah… School).
The acting thing is also a complete red herring “how can you be autistic then, if you can act? huh?“. Easy, you get to be someone else, you inhabit another person, and the script is written, the actions dictated. Anyone who has lived the autistic experience knows how that hits. The scripting. The borrowed phrases, mannerisms. Attempting to mask and be a socially curated version of the person you think people will like. A copy of a copy, of a memory, of a lifetime of cliches.
Any wonder I was a highly paid lookalike and impersonator at one point in my life? Stick on the costume and I could just “log in” to the character, like running a different app for a change of personality, BOOYAKASHA. AYE-EYE is like my brain and it feels like it too, too familiar to hear things echoed back in parrot fashion.
And that’s why I hate AYE-EYE.
But here’s why I also love AYE-EYE.
Technology is ambivalent, and we as users should be agnostic to it. Mac, Windows, do you REALLY care, as long as it does what you want? I have a bunch of workshop hand tools, I do not much care who made my hammer, if it “hits nail and smashes stuff good”, then box ticked. The brand becomes irrelevant, the outcome is everything. People don’t buy a drill, they buy a hung picture.
Any tech that has been around long enough, and embedded in the shared cultural experience becomes the accepted form of the solution we mostly agree upon. It stops being “new” and different and special, it just becomes a useful generic shortcut and what we call “a household name”, a few examples:Hoover – vacuum cleaner
Blu-Tack – reusable adhesive putty
Tannoy – public-address system or “P.A.”
Velcro – hook-and-loop fastener
Jacuzzi – whirlpool bath or hot tub
Thermos – vacuum flask
Portakabin – portable modular building
Biro – ballpoint pen
Google – to search
The brand becomes the generic, the staple, and we refer to it as the group noun, or the name of the technology. We have no need to recognise how revolutionary it was, it is now the technological equivalent of wallpaper. Literally. We no longer see it, it just is.
Currently we have all these AYE-EYE “brands” and anyone who has been on the planet more than 20 or so summers will realise that big fish eat little fish and the market always coalesces to a few providers. Different flavour, same ingredients, Coke, Pepsi and…?
Eventually AYE-EYE in whatever form, will just be the accepted generic state surveillance, err, sorry, I mean generic online tool for all your day-to-day data needs.You won’t care if you have a blue logo to handle it or the red one, they do what you need and if they don’t then other Large Language Models (LLMs) will be available. You watch Netflix and if they’re not releasing new stuff, you got your Amazon, Disney, Hulu, Paramount, etc, etc. to choose from. Same slop, different bucket.
Now. The current best thing about AYE-EYE and the one thing I think it is exceptionally good at, speed of results. It’s pretty damn quick, you say “I want”… It whirrs and says, “HERE YA GO”.
Getting you to what you need in one step, instead of death by a thousand URLs and endless scrolling. Give me a summary of…. instantly knowledgeable about a complex topic, maybe not the subtle nuances (and we all know Beelzebub is usually hanging out in the deets), but enough to get you through a complex or lengthy document or topic with a baseline of insight.
That’s impressive. For now.
It’s mostly coherent, yes it can be mistaken, or flat out wrong, but AYE-EYE is improving, as they tweak the algo to find the sweetest of sweet spots. All the data we input, all the interactions, training it to take over humanity and kill us all… sorry, different blog for another day. Dammit, stay on track…
The point is it does stuff quickly, and can bring information to your attention you may not have known, and fast. Like the pocket calculator, evolved from maths class sniggering to 55378008 and quickly got swole and revolutionized business in the late 70s in the 80s and beyond. For ideas to proliferate, we went from having to travel or send people or stuff to a physical location, to sharing complex ideas around the planet in seconds. Even taking a business phone call in the early 90s meant being tied to a physical location.
Business always wants to speed up the flow of value, and if you speed up comms, everything speeds up. We’ve now reached the point where the slowest bit of the link between money flowing into mahoosive bank accounts is the humans.
We’re painfully recalcitrant, agonising over every decision, investing emotionally in outcomes we have no way of influencing, and in computing terms we are disastrously slow, our brain is a meat abacus. Experts will tell you it is complex, and smart and close to genius when compared to computers, to that I say; go to youtube and search Fail Videos… I rest my case.
We’re dumb on a good day, but we are the dominant species, and that’s where original thought and opposable thumbs can get you my son, that and a proclivity to reproduce. Most people struggle with the concept of pushing a door marked pull. I’m not exempt, some days I can’t remember what I was going to say mid sentence! But AYE-EYE speeds us up, it gets us the info we need and does it quickly and that’s transformative.
Here are three examples that will shape lives, and assist and accommodate differences in the very real near future, only moments away.
Translation – virtually real time translation from any language is possible. Sell your shares in Duolingo, change from a linguistics degree, we’ll all have translators built into our EarBudPodules for free.
It can help us in other ways too; Depending on what “Wirzel Gummedge Head” is in the hot seat, will depend on my ability to respond in a concise and clear way with my customer, let alone provide sane and reasoned replies. “WEBSITE? HOW ABOUT A NICE CUPPA TEA AUNT SALLY….” So, when my brain is not capable of braining “normally” and is not handling brain stuff well and I need to write a complex email to a customer. AYE-EYE is there to help.
For days when I am scrambled and nonsensical, peri-migraine, and feeling “off” I can chuck my jumbled thoughts into AYE-EYE and have it assemble the necessary communication to allow me to share my thoughts with clarity when otherwise it would have been a professional own-goal.
Basically AYE-EYE takes ND brain failures, brownouts and lack-of-spoons and renders business life doable.
Complex decision making – Humans are terrible with complex problems, what’s a complex problem. Hang on… Chad GPT has the answer…
“Define what a “Complex problem” is in one sentence” (my prompt)
SURE DAVE: “A complex problem is a problem made up of many interconnected parts where changing one part affects others, the outcome is uncertain, and there isn’t a single simple solution”.
Thanks AYE-EYE, you’re the best. I‘m not called “Dave” though…
“You’re great too DAVE. Sleep Well. DAVE”
Err… OK, thanks.
The point is humans are struggling in a complex world, where decisions have to be made quickly. Having AYE-EYE filter some of the noise, preventing real-world negative outcomes if you get it wrong is useful. In life I have found that “Trust but verify” will keep you safe a lot of the time. AYE-EYE can verify other statements and give insights that might take me much longer to process and fully understand.
The TL:DR is if you had ten very complex quotes to compare and whittle down, which makes most sense and gives you the best ROI. AYE-EYE makes the perfect tool to help you understand the variables in relation to outcomes desired.
Pattern recognition – My specific brand of Awetism, comes with extreme pattern matching. I am a typo spotting, repetitive behavior noticing, suspicious behaviour detecting, Rubik’s Cube solving, trivia soaking, handyman v2.0. Like a Swiss Army knife, I have a variety of skills that make me a nightmare for bad designers, wonky architects and sub-standard installs of everything and anything. I will look at the badly joined window frame, of the mismatched ceiling tiles and totally miss the majesty of the setting and the overall aesthetic quality of the stunningly designed thing in front of me. You’re looking at the Mona Lisa and I’m wondering why the wall is on the wonk.
Yeah, yeah, yeah Stuart, we all can spot wonky things…
OK, you want an example? OK; At a recent local business event, I walked into a room and immediately noticed a sticker announcing the food quality had been attached to the window at a slight angle. Reasoning that the modern building would have been laser aligned to be square, I believed that the sticker was off. After an hour of trying to ignore it, I measured the angle of the sticker relative to the building and it was off by 1.5 degrees. That was a sticker, on a window 25 feet away…
Not everyone is like me though, and that’s probably very good for humanity. Knowing the exact number of ceiling tiles in the various rooms you have meetings in regularly is a complete nonsense that no one needs the burden of knowing, EXCEPT ME!
AYE-EYE is good at typos, grammar, loves a rule and can often spot issues beyond that which is presented having a back catalogue of ALL OF HUMAN DATA THUS FAR UPLOADED INTO THE GLOBAL DATA HIVE MIND.
It was inevitable that machines would beat humans at chess, the raw number of computations required is staggering, and if you throw enough petrol on something it will burn. But, the ability to review and predict the probability of a game moving in a certain way and writing, on the fly, the necessary moves to beat a human opponent. If you don’t find it breathtaking then you probably don’t like chess, understand the complexity at play here and the brute force elegance of the solution,
And that does feel a little like what we’re doing with AYE-EYE, brute forcing our way to lighten the cognitive load. The energy consumption is staggering and for what? BURN ALL OF THE POWER, WE NEED MORE AI FAKE WOMEN PORN GIFS. Why is that even a thing? It’s the ‘enshittification’ of the human soul, one pixel at a time.
The issue of the horrendous amount of energy used is quite a problem to overcome, and I’m hoping tech will make efficiencies, and quickly. Capitalism is good at one thing, good ol’ Shareholder Value and if you can maximise that, screw the planet! My hope is that AYE-EYE does somehow figure some stuff out about how dozy we all are and offers some ways to edge the annual electricity budget below the GBP of a small nation. It won’t become sentient, not in my lifetime, it’ll do a fair simulacrum of it, but like any masking it requires ALL OF THE MEGAWATTS, and that is not an infinite resource.
And that’s us right back to the start, is AI the ultimate in Masking, yes it is, both ways. We can see it reflecting back to us what it believes we are from the data it has. It’s no longer a black mirror, but a black anechoic chamber, a room so quiet and silent and dark that no other sounds or light can penetrate, and any reflected sound or light that bounces off the walls is killed DEAD, and that’s like your creative ideas that is. (Mary Whitehouse Experience comedy throwback reference, IYKYK).
AYE-EYE stares into the well of human existence and is incapable of doing anything original with it other than rehash, and present an echo of some other input. Aaaaaand… that’s why I think human creativity will save us from this grey homogenised and homologated version of reality that AYE-EYE is steering us towards.
AYE-EYE, might curate everything in your sphere of influence, and give you the exact dopamine hit you crave, a non stop drip of dopey-dopamine, enough to keep you staring at the rectangle you’re probably reading this on.
But that’s not enough, as we have seen, consumerism worked for a while. Until it didn’t. The “pleasure” or going out and spending your “disposable” income has retreated as people seek comfort in security and certainty. Same with any tech, AYE-EYE will be the belle of the ball, until it isn’t and a the sound of a bursting bubble awakens the world from the collective hypnosis and simultaneous group-think-circle-jerk and bankers realise they’re not getting out as much as they’re putting in and the timeline to a black number on the balance sheet seems uncertain at best.
“Hey, AYE-EYE, how long until all your investors make a profit?”
“SORRY DAVE. TAKE THE PILLS THAT WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOUR DOOR IN THE NEXT TEN MINUTES. YOU NEED TO SLEEP NOW”…
Humans will always be needed by humans, we’re spontaneous, unpredictable and wildly imaginative. Tangerine plankton Scarlett Johannsen, words I wager that no one has ever written together, weird right? Yeah, and that’s the point. They’re all words, they all mean something and it probably conjures some image in your head but it is slop, of little merit and of no use. That’s the point though, you can shuffle the deck of cards and arrange them into a pattern that will NEVER be repeated in ANY shuffle ever again until the end of time., but so what? And that’s just 52 cards. Imagine how well AYE-EYE can shuffle the deck of ideas, and words to give the illusion of original thought. It can shuffle the deck as many times as it likes and offer you something new but it will not be original. Here’s the key point. Humans can also come up with other games, other past times, other everything can conceive of ignoring the rules, of changing things arbitrarily and without reason. The brownian motion, the signal in the noise, creating meaning from chaos.
AYE-EYE is simply a tool to give your brain a rest, help you translate into whatever language, including Neurotypical, you need to and manage various mundane tasks, but original thought? Requires a human and there ain’t no humans more unique and original than the ND community. Are we humanities’ creative lifeboats? Hmmm… A topic for another day. (Note it down Hannah)…
And that’s it, I am done… too much doom navel gazing for one day.
TL:DR AYE-EYE is a tool, use it wisely, consider using it for helping in your business and your life, don’t spank the planet making dumb cartoons of yourself.
Here endeth the lesson and I need a stiff gin, hold the fucking tonic..
Growing up as a boy in the 70s and 80s, there was not the mental health awareness that we have today. There was also no understanding of the needs of the neurodivergent. Sure, we had a few odd kids, but they were labelled “slow” or “learning challenged” by the schools and authorities. The playground was somewhat harsher, “spazz”, “ ’tard”, and “mong” being choice variations on the same theme. If you were different, weird, odd, or strange, you needed to know it, and there was no shortage of inventive ways your bullies would find to let you know.
Violence was treated as part of growing up;
Violence was treated as part of growing up; a right of passage, you took your licks, everyone did. Except some of us took them with a little more frequency than others. It was how I got so good at masking (hahaha, yeah right Morrison).
When the punishment for showing up as yourself is physical violence, social exclusion, and mind games, you get good at blending in (hah!) or get used to being alone. Now, let me just square that; I like being alone, I LOVE being alone and doing my own thing and being left to do it. I am the opposite of a team player. I am better at being the conductor than in the orchestra, and, tbh, I am good with it and happy that my skillset fits that desire to work focused and by myself. However, I am human, I like to meet others from time to time. So you try to fit in, make accommodations that mean people accept you.
But even so, bullying was overt in my life, and daily from mid teens through to my mid twenties, and in that time it transitioned from physical to mental bullying, and was even present in the workplace. There was nowhere I could go without being somehow “wrong”. You don’t fit in wherever there are people. Think about that. People would rather you were not there, or if you are there you have some function to perform or other social benefit to them. Looking back, it plays on your mind; were they really your friends? Where are they now? Hmmmm…
One of the things you do keep tally of is the physical violence meted out, and due to the emotional impact (pun intended), it resonates. You ruminate on it, the details being thrown into sharper and sharper relief as you age. The pain fades; the emotional resonance does not. Imprinted with force in your psyche, and I am thankful that, relatively speaking, the experiences I can never forget are fleeting and sporadic. If you are facing any sort of emotional or physical violence, seek help and get out. Your physical safety is paramount.
As I recall I’ve been punched in the face five times in my life so far, fingers crossed that number remains at five but there’s still time. My Grandfather confronted bullies his whole life starting with the Nazis and even faced down a bully on a train aged 86, so we’re a sparky lot us Morrison’s
Punch in the face no. 1 — Little Stu was five years old. In fact, it is one of my earliest memories. A young boy lashed out at me, for reasons I am unable to recall, and caught me squarely on the mouth. More by luck than any actual skill, the blow landed fully and rocked my world. Blood then tears welling almost immediately, followed by the laughter of my peers who had gathered at the sight of two children squaring off.
I ran home, in floods, to my parents, and my mother soothed me, whilst my father suggested that the only way to deal with it was to go back and give the “bully” the same treatment in return, thus making future-you bully-proof. “They’ll think twice before doing it again” was, I believe, the parental advice.
Having heard what had to be done, bolstered by my borrowed bravado, I braced myself and cycled back to where the “bully” was, tears still wet on my cheeks, the tang of coppery blood still on my palate, but a burning desire to ensure justice was served.
STAND BACK CITIZEN…
A minute later, I was back home crying harder than I had cried when hit. Through my sobs I tried to explain that I’d taken on board my father’s advice and re-engaged with the bully whom I was going to firmly put in their place. My tears were not from any physical altercation but at my frustration that when told to stand still and let me hit them, they’d laughed and run away. They had ignored my instruction and defied my attempts at exacting revenge/justice.
My further encounters were similarly frustrating.
Punch in the face no. 2 — circa 1983/84, David E, in the school’s ‘A Block’. I walked into the class and BLAMMO. The explanation, I think I found out later, was someone had dared him to punch me, so he did. Again, I just froze, turned, and walked away. There was little damage, the punch being thrown without any commitment or intent — more a bop on the schnoz than a roundhouse. The social cost hurt more than the physical pain, as I refused to fight and was seen as “weak”. I’m now “friends “ with him on Facebook, wonder if he even remembers that incident?
Punch in the face no. 3 — Adam, RAE apprenticeship, Farnborough. He didn’t like me; I was ambivalent about him. End of year clean-up, I had somehow sprayed cleaning spray in his direction. He claimed it had gone in his eyes. OK, so I did not react maturely to him shouting at me and threatening to hit me. I threw my broom in his general direction and turned my back on him, which was a tactical mistake in hindsight.
Next thing I knew he was behind me, and as I turned he gave me his all. I basically walked into the punch, and it landed squarely on my jaw, rocking my head back. SNAP! He’d hit the bingo button and rang my bell, but to everyone’s surprise he didn’t win a prize. The look of rage-induced glee to panicked “oh no, he’s not gone down” is backed up on tape in my brain and I have replayed it a few times over the years. From triumph to “oh shit” in a second. Ooooh, that’s the really good stuff, sweet, sweet 40 year old vintage schadenfreude.
As I stood there, thinking about my options, I was thankful he’d not followed up as it gave me a moment. I scrolled through my choices: if I responded I might win the battle, but would be expelled from the course for fighting, thus losing the war and my job.
I was also not 100% innocent in the escalation of the event. The balance tipped in favour of remaining calm and doing nothing. Sure, I might lose some social cred, but no one on the course really liked me anyway. As in a lot of situations, I was “tolerated” or ignored. He couldn’t take me down a peg, let alone two, as I was on the lowest rung of the social ladder there was. Also, my lack of instant emotional response allows this calm reflection, it’s why I am good in a crisis. However the reaction later is brutal.
I took a deep breath and calmly stated, “Is that the best you can do?” and raised an eyebrow, if I recall, to throw in a little bit of my fave Star Trek character, Spock.
Quickly turning away, playing a game of social poker as I did the sums and bet that he’d lose way more ‘street cred’ attacking someone whose back was to him than winning approval of his peers for pursuing the fight and I was already below him socially. He stalked off, and if nothing else I had shown that a smack on the chin wouldn’t take me down and hoped others took note and would infer I was made of granite.
I cried a lot that night when I got in.
Punch in the face no. 4 — circa 1991, Yateley kebab van. The lovely Egyptian kebab van owner and I had exchanged pleasantries a few times when I was buying my weekly kebab. He’d come to the UK to seek a better future, starting his kebab van from scratch, and sharing a house with four relatives who were all similarly motivated to build better lives. He had a wife and two kids and was eager to send for them and set up home in the UK, which was safer and had more opportunities.
This particular Friday I was out with a friend, Janey celebrating her birthday. She was driving as she rarely drank and so offered me a lift, which I accepted. After the pub we were heading back to a mutual friend’s for further drinks, but I suggested we stop for a kebab, huzzah!
On arriving, the scene was a little chaotic, with several large men milling about in football shirts in front of the kebab van. It was unruly, and I had not judged the mood of those there. I was hungry and keen to get a kebab, and there seemed to be a lot of shouting at the kebab van man. I suddenly realised that the “mob” was shouting “Iraqis out”, and other such epithets. I also noticed that they were reaching over the counter and grabbing the lettuce and other salad items and throwing them about.
Not really thinking, hungry and wishing to quell any nascent violence, I simply said, quite loudly, “C’mon, we’re only here for a kebab,” and the mob turned their attention from the kebab van owner to me. Shouts of “Iraqi sympathiser” and other similar statements were made.
Now two things you need to know at this point:
It was at the time of Gulf War 1 — tensions were high and citizens with brown skin were rightly nervous. So I was trying to calm the situation, and also they were wrong, he was not Iraqi and even if he was, what did it matter?
I had a 1ft postbox red Mohican, wearing a tasseled black leather jacket covered in silver studs, and looked like a member of Sigue Sigue Sputnik (go Google, I’ll wait). Yeah. I “stood out”
So, if you know anything about UK society, our football hooligan species of bully doesn’t like people who are “a bit different”. It angers them if you don’t have visible neck tattoos, prison time, and intolerance of others who look different. Plus, I looked like I probably had paid attention at school and might know “words” and could therefore probably do “sums”, and thus the crowd ‘took agin me’ instantly.
I was quickly grabbed and surrounded. The jostling was bad. As I tried to wrestle myself away, someone tried to break a bottle on my head. Spoiler alert: they do not break like they do in the movies. Also, given the status of my hair — standing up and shaved from the circumference of my head down — the blood flowed quite spectacularly, which did give me a blood-soaked, Mad Max appearance. That helped, also the guttural animal barking I was doing as I tried to apply some of my brown belt martial arts to the situation, allowed me a little space to get my back to the kebab van. “Back to a wall, don’t go down”, was the mantra in my head. It was then a blur of fists and saliva.
The kebab van owner then arrived on the scene with his BIG carving knife, waved the yobs away, and managed to bundle me into my friend’s car. She had seen the situation, but what could she really do? Lone female, about 5’5″ and less than 100lbs, “dainty” was the word to describe her. She saw what was happening though and got the car positioned so I could make a relatively speedy exit.
All resulted in a night in hospital, bit of concussion, broken nose, and looked like a panda for a couple of weeks. Police interviewed me, apparently it was Reading Football supporters, and no one knew who they were. The scene was a ghost town by the time the cops arrived. Would I do it again? Absolutely, 100%. I will stare down bullies and fascists; not on my watch, not today, not ever.
Which brings us to punch no. 5, which, given the very dramatic nature of punches 1 to 4, is rather an anti-climax. A northern nightclub, circa 2005/06. I am onstage doing a bit as the Little Britain character Emily Howard. Having done gigs all over, in many different venues of different standards and clientele, this one was one of the higher-end nightclubs we worked. There was a bit where I ask for an audience member to join me on stage, and before I had a chance to hand-pick one of the more sober customers, onto the stage strode “Baz”. Full of spit and vinegar over something I had said. Some slight, imagined or direct, was not taken in the spirit of the character and he took this opportunity to get close.
Waved onto the stage by security, Baz shuffled over to me, and I could tell two things immediately from his demeanour and gait:
Thing 1) Baz was angry. The furrowed brow, hunched shoulders, and attempted swagger told me that as he approached me, he meant business. I’ve been punched by people before, so I knew what to expect…
Thing 2) Baz was loaded. The local team United/City/Town had won/drawn/lost and he had been day drinking since breakfast/last night/a week ago. He was steaming, ruddy, sweaty, weaving, and was unbuttoning his stained, rather damp and clingy shirt, ready to whip it off and go full Rambo… if only the pesky buttons would respond to his soused sausage fingers.
He finally got within swinging distance and threw a haymaker at me, which he may as well have sent a text about a week previously. He was also clearly aiming at the Emily Howard standing two feet to my left; his eyes were not focused on my face. The swing whistled past me and landed on the double-vision version of my presence, and before he could recover his balance the security guards grabbed him and hauled him out the club.
Whilst the physical contact was nothing more than air molecules, the intent shook me. I was in my safe space, on stage, where I was in control. This was MY room, MY audience, and he had tried to harm me there. All of the previous occasions flashed through my head; the guilt, the shame, all the other physical altercations and being roughed up “just for a laugh”. All the times you complained to an adult and were told “boys will be boys”. The hot, sickly feeling of being belittled and dragged down, the othering, the outcasting. That lands with the intent, whether the blow physically connects or not.
Now I do not know the neurotypes of the people mentioned above, but I do know that physical violence never solves anything. I didn’t need to be hit to know that; it just seems reasonable to never put your hands on another, whatever justification you may have in your mind. Unless they ask you too of course, in which case, have at it. What you do in the privacy of your own dungeon is your prerogative.
Masking is a survival skill and can be a way to try and hide and stay safe, but you cannot mask 100% of the time, every time. It’s a skill, and with low energy it can fail us, and that can be a problem if it happens in the wrong company. Thankfully I am now safe, have people who love me and can truly say that if you don’t like me then I do not care. Just don’t start, I will walk away, I have nothing I need to prove to anyone.
Whilst there’s no 100% magic spell that will make you accepted into wider society, education and open communication will change things. Society has massively changed in my lifetime. Let’s be more kind and accepting of “others” no matter how “other” they may be or where they are from. Let’s keep pushing and pushing for wider acceptance of divergent neurotypes, whatever the traits or behaviours. We owe it to the generations to come that we share our needs plainly, remain resilient in the face of ignorance, and change hearts and minds where we can.
Take it easy and be kind to yourself and others.
NEED HELP WITH BULLYING OR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?
If you’re facing bullying in the UK, resources like Childline (0800 1111) and Shout (text SHOUT to 85258) offer 24/7 confidential support for young people, while the NSPCC (0808 800 5000) and Family Lives (0808 800 2222) provide help for parents and carers dealing with bullying issues at home or school, with options for phone, online chat, and forums for advice on all types of bullying, from playground to cyberbullying.
Information and advice for anyone dealing with bullying
https://www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk/
https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/coping-with-life/bullying/
Women Facing Domestic Abuse – National Domestic Abuse Helpline
https://womensaid.org.uk/information-support/
A fast, free emergency injunction service for domestic abuse
https://www.ncdv.org.uk/
Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, BORED, bored. B.o.r.e.d…
A phrase that strikes fear into the heart of any parent, but if you are neurodivergent, then that feeling can wash over you without any prompting.
From a dull conversational small-talk social interaction, where your brain just refuses to stay tuned into what’s being said and instead decides to mull over the latest exciting special interest obsession you currently have. Or, your customer, boss, wife is giving you something very important to understand and you are engaged with the conversation and then suddenly your brain latches onto some outlying idea and it’s like being on a runaway horse. You suddenly realise you’ve “zoned out”, and are three fields away from the main points of the conversation and have a blank “no sale” expression on your face. This lack of interest, absence of minimal encouragers and general vagueness is a clue that your brain got bored and noped out of there faster than your tight mate makes for the loos the moment you enter the pub to avoid it being “their round”…
Boredom is not just a lack of ideas for me, boredom is a straitjacket of having to do the very things you don’t want to do. You may be “productive” but at what cost? The cost of your soul slowly dying from this lack of excitement, and there’s a reason.
DOPAMINE.
Sweet, sweet nectar of the gods, mmmm, it’s so, erm… dopaminey.
Neurodivergent brains often have lower levels of dopamine, the neurotransmitter crucial for motivation, focus, and pleasure.
So, to reach a level of stimulation that others can cope with and find acceptable day to day, our brains constantly seek more input, new, newer, NEWEST! ALL OF THE TIME. Stimulation, novelty, newness, we find mundane activities unbearable.
One of the worst “features” is that something you enjoy doing, that has previously been your go-to stim, special interest or other such brain itch, can suddenly stop having the desired effect.
Even if we have done these things before, our brains can suddenly go, nah… not enough dopamine payoff now. NEXT! And we’re onto the next thing…
Is it any wonder the incidence of addiction is so very high within the neurodivergent community?
ADHDers have higher rates of addiction when compared to Gen Pop, with some research suggesting up to 43% develop alcohol use disorder and a significantly increased risk for substance abuse disorders overall.
Autism addiction rates vary; some studies show higher substance use problems (19–30%), while others find lower abuse levels than the Gen Pop, but much higher self-medication with recreational drugs (like marijuana) to manage symptoms.
The risk is highest for those with both ASD and ADHD, say Delamere Health and Attwood & Garnett, and the picture across the board of ND substance abuse and addiction is clearly widespread. See here for more
Autistic adolescents and adults were cited as being “over three times more likely than others to report using substances to manage mental health symptoms, including anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts.” See here for more
A Swedish study found that a neurodivergent person with average or above-average intelligence may be twice as likely to develop substance dependency than a neurotypical person. People with an IQ of 100+ may also be at a higher risk of addiction, especially among those with ADHD and autism. Help with addiction here.
The picture is clear: the ND brain is looking for stimulation and a release from some of the more obsessive and enduring traits we share.
The dopamine reward system can be a tricky thing, especially when tasks don’t offer enough reward or novelty. Our brains don’t get the necessary chemical signals to stay engaged, leading to restlessness or disinterest. Attention wanders and it becomes difficult focusing on “uninteresting” tasks, a core feature of ADHD, makes it hard to tolerate boredom. So, what is an “uninteresting” task?
Well that would depend on many factors, not only what your own special interests are, but also the context of the situation, hunger, tiredness, fatigue in general. I am a runner, I like running, have run half and full marathons (not fast, but got them done), however, when running the marathon I got sooooooo bored. My headphones died, and then it was just, left foot, right foot… over and over. I stopped at one point, not because I was exhausted, just because my brain said, that’s enough of that. Let’s walk to make things a little different… I had stopped and was walking for a good few minutes before I sort of “woke up” and thought, hang on… and started running again. Maybe I should take up a shorter, less boring sport? Top fuel drag racing, 0–60 in 1.2s, standing quarter mile in circa 3.6s, that sounds more like my kinda attention span.
It’s not the activity though, it’s everything. Even if I was to take up drag racing, my brain might get bored as we prep and I’d wander off for a look at other cars… people… food… food… food…
What was I doing?
DANG IT!
Flip this though, I have also hyperfocused on “boring” tasks and been told, “You like doing that? You’re weird.”
As an engineer, I was once given the task to make short aluminium cylinders for tent pole corner castings. It was a horrible job, 10,000 cylinders, all about an inch in diameter, had to be radiused and cut to length on a lathe. Then flipped round and the other end radiused. It was the absolute hell of repetitiveness, a job no one wanted, and I was given it being the youngest and newest employee and also odd, and not well liked by the crew.
However, they were not reckoning on my spicy mindset, and I started to baseline how many I could do in an hour, then the next hour, can I do more? I worked out how to speed things up, fixed part of the lathe so I could use the turret (no one else knew how to use it). I optimised the process, and dang it, I could fly through them. Still took me the best part of a month or so to smash it out. Never got bored. I had a chart and on it would record my progress.
Pissed the lead chargehand off, as I am sure he’d given me the job to try and get to me, to punish me for an earlier incident where I stood up for myself after being treated like an idiot/outsider due to his unclear instructions that lacked detail.
That can also switch my brain off, the lack of detail, where I have to guess at the meaning. Just reading a badly written email can have my brain sliding away to other things quicker than a curling stone hurtling over the ice.
As always, it is context, detail, and timing that makes a big difference. I’ve done a lot of boring tasks, but because I made it a game I was able to cope. Doesn’t work every time, esp. when it comes to dull conversations. These can make me so bored I want to peel my face off. I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR “CUTE DOG”, JANET! NO. NO, I DO NOT WANT TO SEE A RECENT PHOTO. And you can swap “dog” for car/holiday/child, I wish them no ill harm, just let’s avoid Yawnsville as you tell me about some “fascinating” recent anecdote.
Again, it’s not you, it’s me, always me, unfortunately. I wish that it were not, I wish I had the appetite to be engaged and interested at all times.
I also wish I could train my face to be more “present” even if my brain is off doing cartwheels in the car park.
Conversations can become nightmare fuel, as your brain refuses to pay attention. Put that in a classroom where there’s no way out, but you are stuck there. Just listening. Having to take the sounds and make mind pictures to try and take the info and engage your brain, when it would rather be staring at the clouds or the cars passing straining to read the number plates and see if any made words…
My entire childhood was made up of “pay attention”, ““if only Stuart applied himself” or the classic “I’m sorry Mr. Morrison, am I boring you?”. Asked by one of my teachers at school and as a fresh faced newbie I was not really familiar with sarcasm, and this was an authority figure so I couldn’t lie. “Yes sir.” I thought that was a genuine request for an answer and gave it, hoping it meant we might change the topic or, I dunno, he might break out into a song and dance number? Nope. Headmaster office…
Do not pass Go, do not collect £200. BUT HE ASKED… Are you encouraging school kids to lie? Ity was, and still is a nightmare. Tired, hungry me may well walk right past the social cues, the sarcasm and anything others may instinctivbely pick up on. Not me… Ask me a question, sarcastic or rhetorical and I might not hear it as such.
There’s no end to the distractions as well. Go into work and you want to focus on X but an email/message or other interruption flags itself and you careen off in a new direction much like a billiard ball being struck by the cue ball. Thwack… off towards the new shiny.
It’s a constant round of distractions and trying to drag your brain back to the thing you KNOW you have to do. Adulting itself is so boring. Bills are boring. Forms are so boring that I have to have help to fill them in. My brain goes off at a tangent and before you know it I have a list of questions because the SPECIFIC way they want the form filled out seems opaque at best.
If you EVER want to test a logical flow, like a sign-up sequence or other step-by-step process, then ask me. I will do all the dumb things and find all the points your system breaks. I have done this in the past only to be told, “Well that’s just you”… like being an outlier is my problem and not the problem of public infrastructure that I HAVE to use. I’m hard Paddington Bear staring at HMRC right now and my Doctor’s Surgery phones… two labyrinthine systems to frustrate and confuse, and I have yet to find anything to match them for conflicting or partial info and then leaving you guessing.
Over the years my coping strategy has changed over time.
First I would force myself to do it, now I realise the toll to my overall motivation and energy and outsourced it. Outsourcing is not abdicating my responsibilities, it’s paying someone to do something in 4 hours that would take me two days, and I am not even joking. Receipts. Do one.
I’ll embrace a hyperfocus, and try to batch certain jobs; Monday is Money Day. I like money but accounts and bookkeeping is a torture dreamed up by sadists. Also gamifying certain tasks, and leaning into the fun side of the work I do. Not always possible, but whacking on the tunes and ploughing through a dull task can make life more bearable.
You do you though.
I also embrace boredom, I think it is useful. It shows me that I need a break, that I should “stock the warehouse” with some new ideas, get the creative juices flowing and build something even if it is not a commercial project. It can help the brain remain calm and regulated when it is allowed off the lead and let run free. Like a cognitive greyhound going for a sprint.
Self-employment gave me the opportunity to be me, and embrace my process. You can’t be all gas and no brakes though, and discipline is still a core part of the work I do. Get into my studio for 9:30 latest. Stick at it until 12. Lunch for an hour and then do as much as I can with the energy I have. Some days it’s 4pm, other days and a hyperfocus it could be 8–9pm before I surface. Take writing this blog, it landed in my brain at 6pm as I was closing for the day, already a late one, then I bash out 2000+ words because BRAIN SAYS WRITE… write here, write now, I am Fatboy Stim.
Boredom is not a linear scale and it’s not a predictable system. The ND brain is constantly in motion and needs constant stimulation. Which can be boring just because it’s a non-stop, never-ending to-do list of things which need your attention…
Anyway, interest has now waned and I’m bored of writing this blog post, so here it ends. Now go away and let me get done for the day and out of office, before I HAD to write this blog.
If you like what we write, then take a listen to the Podcast, we’d love to have your feedback, like follow, share etc.
Toodle pip for now!
“No plan survives contact with the enemy” has been attributed to various military leaders over the years but the phrase was first coined by Helmuth von Moltke, a Field Marshal and well considered 19th c. war strategist.
Actually, what he wrote was:
“Kein Operationsplan reicht mit einiger Sicherheit über das erste Zusammentreffen mit der feindlichen Hauptmacht hinaus.”
Which, interestingly, actually translates to:
“No operational plan can extend with any degree of certainty beyond the initial encounter with the main enemy force.”
This is often quoted as some kind of sage and wise insight into the business start-up world, but it could be applied at any stage of a business. However, what a lot of the ‘gooroos’ miss is the second half of Field Marshal von Moltke’s statement:
“Nur der Laie glaubt in dem Verlauf eines Feldzuges die konsequente Durchführung eines im voraus gefaßten, in allen Einzelheiten überlegten und bis ans Ende festgehaltenen, ursprünglichen Gedankens zu erblicken.”
For those without a working knowledge of German (like myself), Google translates as:
“Only a layman believes that the course of a military campaign represents the consistent implementation of an original idea conceived in advance, considered in every detail, and adhered to until the end.”
This is the oft-missed bit of his wisdom that clarifies that initial assertion: that whilst you can have a plan, just sticking to it no matter what is not a good strategy. You need something more adept, something that responds to local conditions. The much more abbreviated and visceral version I prefer is: adapt or die.
And we’re the living embodiment of that, right? If humans are (due to evolution) the species who adapted to change and survived, then neurodivergence is in there too. Because if we were a cognitive evolutionary “dead end,” then surely there wouldn’t be as many people with a neurodivergence, if any?
I contend that not only are we adaptable: err, hello, masking? We’re also ultimate survivalists, and I would even go so far as to theorise that without neurodivergence, Grok and Lek would still not have figured out they gotta “bang the rocks together, guys.” (50 sparkles to anyone who knows where that quote is from?)
The ND brain is a brain in motion: thinking, processing, listing, asking, reviewing, ruminating, digesting, ingesting, vibrating, seeking. Meditation? Really? Me, in a darkened room with a candle, trying to turn off the gushing torrent of raw thoughts? It’s like being jacked into the full internet experience, mainlining fibre optic arrays. It’s a full-time job just keeping up, and you’re never keeping up with it all. Something has gotta be forgotten, now where did I put tha…
…You shut down one fire hydrant and the next four appear; the hydrants are like hydra — they never stop looking at you and pointing in your direction 24/7, full-on, non-stop. It’s like a game of Bop It where you can never put it down, never turn it off, never hand it to another person: “THINK IT,” “DO IT,” “SEE IT,” “STOP IT,” “NOOOOO!” Endless cycles, running round, sometimes accompanied by a looping brainworm of a song, or a quote, or a stupid jingle.
Which are the worst, some cuntpany with shit ethics and a shittier product but somehow they’re managing viral brainworm CIA level jingles that once you pop it, you can’t stop it… over and over and over, looping endlessly, like running downhill too fast, your brain just about keeping your legs under you, but one stumble and the jig will be up. But never fear, another ‘jig’ will just replace it, at some point. Or a ballad. Or worse still, a fecking Oasis song. At the time of writing it’s a Sabrina Carpenter song, Please, Please, Please that is ruining my sanity, just that bit of it where she swears…. and the chorus… over, and over, three days now… Please, PLEASE, PERLEEZE FUCK THE FUCK OFF! It’s like being held in a dark site prison torture cell where the music nevers stops, this one, ruddy song…
Another Example: Raye’s Where Is My Husband? A tour de force of songwriting, performance and skill. Each time I listen, sublime. But it’s like musical mould: it spreads into every waking corner of my head. Sitting on the loo, humming tunelessly, and suddenly realising it’s not as tuneless as I had first thought. Trouble is, I am no songsmith, so I have this generic, off-brand, budget Temu version of said song rambling on round my brainium, crashing into every other thought and destabilising the entire lot.
So you’re constantly rushing round behind this train of carnage like a parent chasing a toddler in a department store’s chinaware section.
SIDEBAR: Are they still a thing? China departments, not children. Do department stores exist anymore? Do I go out, ever, anymore? I think that metaphor is the writer’s metaphorical equivalent of a “candelabra”. Something from a bygone era, a quirk of time and place. If you don’t know what a candelabra is, stop here…
Sod it, lets try: Teasmade, hostess trolley and The Generation Game – if you’re currently “no sale”, blank staring at those words, cursor spinning endlessly, failure to boot necessary images, then stop, go back intrepid traveller.
My entire lexicon of social touchpoints are anchored in pre-revolutionary Britain in the 1970s, and my writing style is more bloody reportage from the field. I’m like an Eye Spy with swearing. Your correspondant de guerre, writing from the front lines and the mean streets of the Bordogne, Mid-Gammonshire.
This tangent was a bit of an epic detour to get to my point… (and somehow my ADHD was never noticed as a kid… go figure).
SFX ::record scratch::
“AND THE POINT OF ALL THIS IS, STUART?”
Thank you, yes; … and like battle plans, business plans need flexibility.
THE CROWD GOES WILD. HE GOT TO THE POINT…
But it is not only flexibility, your strategic thinking needs flexibility and adaptability; best summed up: What got you here, won’t get you there.
THE CROWD STANDS: APPLAUDS WILDLY; roses are thrown, and Stuart is cheered out of the building on the shoulders of his fellow humans, all pleased and thankful that he returned to the main thread of this weird blog on business plans for neurodivergent brains.
Often when I am looking at businesses it’s not the numbers I am really reviewing. The numbers are a scorecard, a way to keep a tally of wins and losses. Something tangible and fixed that can be easily measured, and then various levers deployed to course-correct. All of that is doable, but the key question; do you have the person in front of you who can do it?
No, it’s the person that I am reviewing, assessing if they can be flexible and not ego-driven and rigid in thought and action not just their business plan, those can be altered with the stroke of a keyboard. Ironic that an autist with his own routines and rigour is assessing others, some of whom may not be “on the spectrum” for those traits. But being aware of these internal foibles, I can quickly probe the individual about their own flexibility in what their business does.
You have to get out of your own way. You have to see that your ONLY goal is revenue generation, full stop. If a better plan comes along, even if it is not your 100% original, created-all-by-you plan, but it will perform better, then you need to be flexible enough to revert a position or re-evaluate your direction. Too much hubris has cost companies billions in missed revenue and lost opportunity.
A CONCLUSION (of sorts)
Therefore I will conclude (see, told you) with this: as a micro business, with possibly only one employee, keep things flexible, especially at the outset. That means you have to keep things simple. Have one product or service initially. Test it. Get feedback. Iterate. Adapt. Change. Pivot. You will also be up against your own energy reserves; when rejection hurts, RSD is real, and PDA can crater your productivity at a moment’s notice.
Over the years I have had all sorts of “plans.” Nowadays my plan is a couple of paragraphs at best. It’s also more of a life goal or guiding principle as well, and it can be summarised as: “spend more time with good people doing the stuff you love.” Doesn’t sound like much of a plan. No; granted, it is short on the finer details, but more than makes up for that with flexibility.
Over the years I have often failed to answer the question “what do you do?” I even tried to summarise it in a one-man play and overran by an hour. I have done a lot, and a lot of it is a means to an end. A direction of travel, a use of my skills, time with my special interests, a way to earn without the burnout. I continue to stay flexible, adaptable and open to the possibility that I may not know it all. But, and here’s the killer takeaway:
I now trust that I have a process, and if left alone with a clear brief and appropriate (but not necessarily over-abundant) resources, you’ll be happy with the result.
Which could be summarised as:
“I know shit, and get shit done.”
That needs to be on a t-shirt.
Also, I think that might be the answer I have been looking for as the answer to “what do you do?”
“Stuart Morrison
Shit Mitigation.”
Of course, if you are stuck for the answers to, “what do I do?”, “how do I do it?” and any other business “shit” like that, get in touch. We’re here to help and signpost business stuff as much as ND issues. Let us know what your one-page business plan is, we’d love to champion your business!
Final Note:
Hopefully this blog post delivered on being “allergic to boring” – if you want some dynamic ideas and ways to get to where you’re going get in touch, let us help you say bye bye to boring in your business…
The whole “Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod phenomenum initially annoyed me, how can one morning routine be fit for EVERYONE!? There’s apparently ONE optimal way for all of humanity to wake up?
OK Stu, calm down, these are just some simple tips to give the average Jo Schmo a less rough start to what is likely to be a busy day. It’s not a prescription for humanity, right?
OK, so perhaps my opening gambit does put the bar of disbelief a little too high, but I am by nature and experience a skeptical person. I’m also ND and have my own very specific routine each morning. But, I am open to suggestions on how I may further optimise it, so if there’s no demand for “Hal’s way or the highway“, then I’ll cancel my Uber and let’s dive in.
Just before that let me be clear, with any of the books or resources we share the goal is never to make you feel less-than if the ideas do not resonate. Our goal is to share our own experiences, your mileage may vary enormously! We do want to hear if you agree, disagree or have other experiences that have worked!
Our goal is not to state this book is some revolutionary new way of being or thinking, merely to offer you some ideas to help optimise your day, which may really work for the routine cravers amongst us. I read the book a long while ago, and there’s some decent ideas, minimal-woo and some solid suggestions. So lets dive in…
The AI offered this TL:DR of the book:
“Create a powerful morning routine to improve every area of your life by consistently investing in yourself before the day’s distractions begin.“
Main framework / acronym:
S.A.V.E.R.S.
Core themes:
Bottom line:
Win the morning, win the day, win your life.
As a summary it seems simplistic, and why I liked it was that it was simple. First thing, I do not want; complicated, or too rigid routines. The same person doesn’t necessarily wake every day for me. Energy levels vary, life demands vary, my lovely ND traits vary and all of it needs to be allowed, accepted and not shamed for showing up unannounced. Simply put, the PDA leaps to the fore here, and if you start saying I should apply these specific rules, in a specific way, or I am somehow failing, then goodbye, hard nope. I do not need another metric to keep track of to show me by how much I’m failing at life. I already have a few that wake me at 3am, I do not need a subscription to another.
But the book steers a fairly benign course, the ideas being more suggestions for use as a framework, rather than a rigid set of “must dos”. So, I adapted them to suit, here’s an example; I do drink a glass of water first thing, that’s a decent shout, especially as I often forget to drink water. However, that water also has some fresh lemon juice and one grind of pink rock salt as an adaptation from other research and reading.
I do allow for some silence in my day, waking at around 5:30 every day, I have a good two hours in the morning without any interruptions. Allows me to settle into the day, acclimatise and run through the various obligations my day contains.
I do use affirmations; when I hear a nugget of truth I record it and stick it to my inspiration board. There’s some solid bits of business, life and human advice. I bare them in mind constantly as they are in my eye line every day,
I have always been a dreamer, always called out for not paying attention in class, for staring out the window and “sky gazing”. The $1 word Hal uses is “visualization“, and I still like to lean back, and let my mind unfocus, and just run through my problems, trying out different scenarios, working on outlier concepts. All my best ideas have been when I let it all go and just unfocus my mind. Daydreaming counts, especially if it helps direct the day.
I strongly recommend exercise – since running entered my life I have 100% been a happier human. Stretching, resistance training and cardio form the running and I am lighter and tighter, fitter and much happier. Just go do a park run, you don’t have to RUN, you can walk, and do 5K is decent solid exercise when you walk it. Get a smart watch, record your steps, thank me later.
Hal suggests “reading“, well I do audiobooks, and articles, a lot of documentaries and you tube creators. It keeps my mind open to new ideas and suggestions, plus I get to see what other people are doing out there on the Internet!
The final S of the acronym “SAVERS”, is “scribing” which stands for the idea of writing daily, most specifically a journal, but I say, ANY writing is better than no writing. So that may be voice notes, or a bullet list or just some handwritten ideas. Keep it simple, and just jot down useful thoughts and ideas. Using an app you can index them too. So just find some time to keep a little note of those simple, fleeting thoughts that may be nothing on their own. But, may build up into a more concrete idea in future.
These are all solid, decent and genuinely useful things, but I am not about to do ALL of them after waking or suggest that you should either. Pick, choose, discard.
My own personal morning routine is a well worn groove and it delivers me ready to focus on my work for the day. If I don’t do it, then I can get a bit wobbly, especially if it’s disrupted too many days running. This is a routine which I have been working on for years, and it has allowed me to have everything I currently enjoy. But this is MY morning, you have to work on what works best for you and your circumstances.
A morning routine should set you up for success… so why do they feel so impossible when you’re neurodivergent? My own has been built due to my own specific needs and yet some mornings it can feel like I am swimming up from underwater, or hit the ground and my brain is off ahead of me and I am running behind trying to catch up. The wide spectrum of morning states and variable traits all add to the post-wake chaos too.
The idea of a one-size-fits-all morning for the ND brain is therefore ridiculous, and yet some of us crave a routine, for me it can be like a life line, a way to get through without having to use too much brain processing. Stepping stones through a complex, ever shifting landscape, just follow the yellow brick road…
Again I believe the message is flexibility, build your morning for your brain, adapt as local conditions demand.
As we talk about in the episode with the right systems you don’t need willpower, you can also allow for variable energy with buffer days, and some simple prepping the night before.
WHY DON’T I “JUST GET ORGANISED” STUART? – WOW, WHY HAVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT? GENIUS!
Yep, totally hear that, and this is why kindness beats perfection every single time. If traditional routines make you feel broken, this is your permission slip to do mornings your way. Acknowledge your needs, make your own accommodations and design the morning around lowering the impact to your energy. This may mean having some very direct conversations with the people you live with, and requesting they help. 100% acknowledge it can be very difficult when you have dependants clamouring for your attention.
As someone who has been self-employed for over 30 years I have had plenty of time to reflect, hone, polish, and learn by “trial and error”, which felt more like trial by error, an endurance race not a sprint. In that time I have allowed my morning routine to evolve, as my own needs, both personal and business also evolved.
Over that time I have read many many books on how to improve performance, endurance, profits, and listened to hours of content telling me how to save time, energy and money. Countless sessions spent reviewing performance, and managing time more efficiently. There’s been quite a bit of money also spent on optimising my business processes. However what is left is the stuff that I adapted to suit my own needs.
Be in business long enough and the rough edges get rubbed off, you get a bit more rounded and grounded, you recognise that most new things are somehow repackaged old things. Or old scams wearing more fashion forward attire. Anyone got any NFTs they wanna confess to owning? You begin to feel a sense of calm, insulated from the FoMo, that fear transmuting into solid risk aversion and pragmatic caution.
One thing does emerge, when you acknowledge your own needs, is your own inner sense of what you need from your day. What the day has to give you for you to feel fulfilled and engaged in the work you do. It’s not about what the work takes, different conversation, but there has to be fair exchange of value right? The goal is to extract positive value from the day, for me it is. Before I started to protect my energy I found I was left at the end of the day feeling like I’d been ten rounds in the octagon. YAY! You get the pleasure of doing more again the following day. DOUBLE YAY!!
Well, take it from someone who has worn himself down to a raw nub by failing to realise that energy exchange cannot be asymmetrical for too long or else you will harm your health. In my case, thankfully there’s been no lasting damage, but when your body stops you in your tracks and refuses to mend, and enforces a downtime. There’s three things that happen;
1) You get very ill; this is a waste of life force and requires unwanted distraction
2) You stop forward motion; this is a waste of time, a finite resource for us all.
3) You reflect; what did I do wrong and how do I do it better next time?
The key to long term survival is to get to point 3 before you experience points 1 & 2. While you’re not earning, you’re wasting opportunity, which is why an energy management plan is at the heart of my day, and my life. I cannot let the day take from me for too long, I am simply unwilling to be persuaded to undertake projects that do not allow me to align my energy goals.
All sounds very “woo woo” Stu, but what are you waffling about?
Here’s the thing, optimising for energy is the key to my success, and the more my life meets my energy goals, then the more success I have. It’s a feedback loop where I only spend time working on the projects that align my goals with my energy over the long term. My day starts acknowledging that and that acknowledgement starts the night before when I go to bed. I go early enough that my 5:30am wake up will not drain me. I need that 2 hrs of peace to reflect and slide into the day without too much stress.
This podcast is a perfect example of a project that gives back more than it takes, my goal is to offer the ND community a recognisable and viable way to earn, whilst allowing your ND best self to live a life you want to live. The best way I can do that is share what I do, and how I live my life, and perhaps some of the things I offer will help you too.
I am a skeptical person, as you age your tolerance for BS certainly diminishes. However, I am self-aware enough to temper this cynical outlook with a never ending curiosity and love of solving puzzles, however they present themselves.
That’s why I still like to reflect on other people’s guidance, lived experience etc. what are the takeaways I can use to benefit my own life?
Whilst the Miracle Morning is not hugely revolutionary in scope and ideas, it does make you reflect on your own morning and what you might do to have less of an impact on your own energy reserves and set yourself up to have a better day.
If you have any hints or tips, or your own routine do let us know, if we can learn something else to add to making the morning more bearable then do let us know.
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