Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, BORED, bored. B.o.r.e.d…
A phrase that strikes fear into the heart of any parent, but if you are neurodivergent, then that feeling can wash over you without any prompting.
From a dull conversational small-talk social interaction, where your brain just refuses to stay tuned into what’s being said and instead decides to mull over the latest exciting special interest obsession you currently have. Or, your customer, boss, wife is giving you something very important to understand and you are engaged with the conversation and then suddenly your brain latches onto some outlying idea and it’s like being on a runaway horse. You suddenly realise you’ve “zoned out”, and are three fields away from the main points of the conversation and have a blank “no sale” expression on your face. This lack of interest, absence of minimal encouragers and general vagueness is a clue that your brain got bored and noped out of there faster than your tight mate makes for the loos the moment you enter the pub to avoid it being “their round”…
Boredom is not just a lack of ideas for me, boredom is a straitjacket of having to do the very things you don’t want to do. You may be “productive” but at what cost? The cost of your soul slowly dying from this lack of excitement, and there’s a reason.
DOPAMINE.
Sweet, sweet nectar of the gods, mmmm, it’s so, erm… dopaminey.
Neurodivergent brains often have lower levels of dopamine, the neurotransmitter crucial for motivation, focus, and pleasure.
So, to reach a level of stimulation that others can cope with and find acceptable day to day, our brains constantly seek more input, new, newer, NEWEST! ALL OF THE TIME. Stimulation, novelty, newness, we find mundane activities unbearable.
One of the worst “features” is that something you enjoy doing, that has previously been your go-to stim, special interest or other such brain itch, can suddenly stop having the desired effect.
Even if we have done these things before, our brains can suddenly go, nah… not enough dopamine payoff now. NEXT! And we’re onto the next thing…
Is it any wonder the incidence of addiction is so very high within the neurodivergent community?
ADHDers have higher rates of addiction when compared to Gen Pop, with some research suggesting up to 43% develop alcohol use disorder and a significantly increased risk for substance abuse disorders overall.
Autism addiction rates vary; some studies show higher substance use problems (19–30%), while others find lower abuse levels than the Gen Pop, but much higher self-medication with recreational drugs (like marijuana) to manage symptoms.
The risk is highest for those with both ASD and ADHD, say Delamere Health and Attwood & Garnett, and the picture across the board of ND substance abuse and addiction is clearly widespread. See here for more
Autistic adolescents and adults were cited as being “over three times more likely than others to report using substances to manage mental health symptoms, including anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts.” See here for more
A Swedish study found that a neurodivergent person with average or above-average intelligence may be twice as likely to develop substance dependency than a neurotypical person. People with an IQ of 100+ may also be at a higher risk of addiction, especially among those with ADHD and autism. Help with addiction here.
The picture is clear: the ND brain is looking for stimulation and a release from some of the more obsessive and enduring traits we share.
The dopamine reward system can be a tricky thing, especially when tasks don’t offer enough reward or novelty. Our brains don’t get the necessary chemical signals to stay engaged, leading to restlessness or disinterest. Attention wanders and it becomes difficult focusing on “uninteresting” tasks, a core feature of ADHD, makes it hard to tolerate boredom. So, what is an “uninteresting” task?
Well that would depend on many factors, not only what your own special interests are, but also the context of the situation, hunger, tiredness, fatigue in general. I am a runner, I like running, have run half and full marathons (not fast, but got them done), however, when running the marathon I got sooooooo bored. My headphones died, and then it was just, left foot, right foot… over and over. I stopped at one point, not because I was exhausted, just because my brain said, that’s enough of that. Let’s walk to make things a little different… I had stopped and was walking for a good few minutes before I sort of “woke up” and thought, hang on… and started running again. Maybe I should take up a shorter, less boring sport? Top fuel drag racing, 0–60 in 1.2s, standing quarter mile in circa 3.6s, that sounds more like my kinda attention span.
It’s not the activity though, it’s everything. Even if I was to take up drag racing, my brain might get bored as we prep and I’d wander off for a look at other cars… people… food… food… food…
What was I doing?
DANG IT!
Flip this though, I have also hyperfocused on “boring” tasks and been told, “You like doing that? You’re weird.”
As an engineer, I was once given the task to make short aluminium cylinders for tent pole corner castings. It was a horrible job, 10,000 cylinders, all about an inch in diameter, had to be radiused and cut to length on a lathe. Then flipped round and the other end radiused. It was the absolute hell of repetitiveness, a job no one wanted, and I was given it being the youngest and newest employee and also odd, and not well liked by the crew.
However, they were not reckoning on my spicy mindset, and I started to baseline how many I could do in an hour, then the next hour, can I do more? I worked out how to speed things up, fixed part of the lathe so I could use the turret (no one else knew how to use it). I optimised the process, and dang it, I could fly through them. Still took me the best part of a month or so to smash it out. Never got bored. I had a chart and on it would record my progress.
Pissed the lead chargehand off, as I am sure he’d given me the job to try and get to me, to punish me for an earlier incident where I stood up for myself after being treated like an idiot/outsider due to his unclear instructions that lacked detail.
That can also switch my brain off, the lack of detail, where I have to guess at the meaning. Just reading a badly written email can have my brain sliding away to other things quicker than a curling stone hurtling over the ice.
As always, it is context, detail, and timing that makes a big difference. I’ve done a lot of boring tasks, but because I made it a game I was able to cope. Doesn’t work every time, esp. when it comes to dull conversations. These can make me so bored I want to peel my face off. I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR “CUTE DOG”, JANET! NO. NO, I DO NOT WANT TO SEE A RECENT PHOTO. And you can swap “dog” for car/holiday/child, I wish them no ill harm, just let’s avoid Yawnsville as you tell me about some “fascinating” recent anecdote.
Again, it’s not you, it’s me, always me, unfortunately. I wish that it were not, I wish I had the appetite to be engaged and interested at all times.
I also wish I could train my face to be more “present” even if my brain is off doing cartwheels in the car park.
Conversations can become nightmare fuel, as your brain refuses to pay attention. Put that in a classroom where there’s no way out, but you are stuck there. Just listening. Having to take the sounds and make mind pictures to try and take the info and engage your brain, when it would rather be staring at the clouds or the cars passing straining to read the number plates and see if any made words…
My entire childhood was made up of “pay attention”, ““if only Stuart applied himself” or the classic “I’m sorry Mr. Morrison, am I boring you?”. Asked by one of my teachers at school and as a fresh faced newbie I was not really familiar with sarcasm, and this was an authority figure so I couldn’t lie. “Yes sir.” I thought that was a genuine request for an answer and gave it, hoping it meant we might change the topic or, I dunno, he might break out into a song and dance number? Nope. Headmaster office…
Do not pass Go, do not collect £200. BUT HE ASKED… Are you encouraging school kids to lie? Ity was, and still is a nightmare. Tired, hungry me may well walk right past the social cues, the sarcasm and anything others may instinctivbely pick up on. Not me… Ask me a question, sarcastic or rhetorical and I might not hear it as such.
There’s no end to the distractions as well. Go into work and you want to focus on X but an email/message or other interruption flags itself and you careen off in a new direction much like a billiard ball being struck by the cue ball. Thwack… off towards the new shiny.
It’s a constant round of distractions and trying to drag your brain back to the thing you KNOW you have to do. Adulting itself is so boring. Bills are boring. Forms are so boring that I have to have help to fill them in. My brain goes off at a tangent and before you know it I have a list of questions because the SPECIFIC way they want the form filled out seems opaque at best.
If you EVER want to test a logical flow, like a sign-up sequence or other step-by-step process, then ask me. I will do all the dumb things and find all the points your system breaks. I have done this in the past only to be told, “Well that’s just you”… like being an outlier is my problem and not the problem of public infrastructure that I HAVE to use. I’m hard Paddington Bear staring at HMRC right now and my Doctor’s Surgery phones… two labyrinthine systems to frustrate and confuse, and I have yet to find anything to match them for conflicting or partial info and then leaving you guessing.
Over the years my coping strategy has changed over time.
First I would force myself to do it, now I realise the toll to my overall motivation and energy and outsourced it. Outsourcing is not abdicating my responsibilities, it’s paying someone to do something in 4 hours that would take me two days, and I am not even joking. Receipts. Do one.
I’ll embrace a hyperfocus, and try to batch certain jobs; Monday is Money Day. I like money but accounts and bookkeeping is a torture dreamed up by sadists. Also gamifying certain tasks, and leaning into the fun side of the work I do. Not always possible, but whacking on the tunes and ploughing through a dull task can make life more bearable.
You do you though.
I also embrace boredom, I think it is useful. It shows me that I need a break, that I should “stock the warehouse” with some new ideas, get the creative juices flowing and build something even if it is not a commercial project. It can help the brain remain calm and regulated when it is allowed off the lead and let run free. Like a cognitive greyhound going for a sprint.
Self-employment gave me the opportunity to be me, and embrace my process. You can’t be all gas and no brakes though, and discipline is still a core part of the work I do. Get into my studio for 9:30 latest. Stick at it until 12. Lunch for an hour and then do as much as I can with the energy I have. Some days it’s 4pm, other days and a hyperfocus it could be 8–9pm before I surface. Take writing this blog, it landed in my brain at 6pm as I was closing for the day, already a late one, then I bash out 2000+ words because BRAIN SAYS WRITE… write here, write now, I am Fatboy Stim.
Boredom is not a linear scale and it’s not a predictable system. The ND brain is constantly in motion and needs constant stimulation. Which can be boring just because it’s a non-stop, never-ending to-do list of things which need your attention…
Anyway, interest has now waned and I’m bored of writing this blog post, so here it ends. Now go away and let me get done for the day and out of office, before I HAD to write this blog.
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