Overcoming Neurodivergent Burnout & Overwhelm
For me, it hits in a wave of confusion. I suddenly realise that I cannot keep all the pieces of the puzzle in my mind at once. Some of the lists are not being managed well, actually, scratch that: most of the things are not being managed well AT ALL. It’s a feeling like you have missed something, all the while forgetting all the other things you’re missing, whilst your brain tries to frantically make sense of the onslaught of “things”.
Hello, and welcome to overwhelm, population YOU! When it arrives, it is never welcome and always scrambles your brain, taking away whatever scrap of brainpower you had left to cope and throwing it overboard.
Whatever our neurotype, overwhelm is a familiar, slightly panicky, edge-of-a-cliff feeling, where you know you have forgotten something/a lot important but are not sure what. Like the time I forgot about a date with my then g’friend, now wife, and rocked up a few hours late with the enthsusism of a puppy announcing “I’ve been in a sauna!”. Too many things on in my life, and I forgot where I needed to be and when.
The ferocious onslaught that LIFE™ comes at you with, all the unrelenting demands on your attention, your focus, and your time. Just at the point where your focus is fleeting, and you’re feeling your way forward, merely dealing with anything you touch or that comes into the puddle of flickering candlelight your world has shrunk down to.
Spend too long in that state and you are heading into shutdown or burnout, or both. Burnout never arrives overnight; it’s a long, drawn-out, multi-strand process, which takes time and misfortune along with your own inability to spot the trend and reverse out of it. And that’s the worst aspect of overwhelm, you’re “in the trenches,” swinging away, every day inching forward. Some days you actually feel like you might be holding on and, wow, even making some progress. However, you spend enough time like that and you will burn out. Just when you need some critical self-awareness, you do not have any, because your inputs are all overwhelmed, and you have no space, time, or capacity for critical self-reflection.
My first burnout
They say you always remember your first, and I can pinpoint it, February 1990. The fuse was lit, a relationship went sour, and the fuse was lit. That was the start, and I hold no grudge or ill will toward the other party now. But at the time, I felt emotionally raw, humiliated, and unable to really cope with the wave of conflicting emotions. Now, if that was all I was dealing with, then perhaps things might have played out differently.
Then you have to add in the bullying I was suffering in my job. Bullies are cowards, but they smell the weak and surround themselves with those who are just thankful that’s it’s not them on the outside looking in. However, what all my bullies failed to realise was that I never wanted to be liked by them, never clamoured for the attention, which they seemed so desperately intent on getting from me. But they cannot leave you alone, no, they return often, like a pot that needs regularly stirring, lest the sediment of irritation settles. They slowly curdle a risotto of resentment that slowly chokes your good humour and bon homie.
Add in that workplace ostracising, the collapse of my relationship, two long-term chronic medical conditions flaring up, and a lack of meaningful purpose in my life left me in the red when it came to energy and appetite for human contact. In fact, my enthsusiasm for life had ceased full-stop.
At that time, I went dark, cut ties with the few people I knew, as I just had no energy for any of it and it seemed inevitable that these people would also turn on me. The cracks started to show during an Edinburgh play I was helping produce. It was not going well, and I was out of my depth in many regards, but I also felt professionally unworthy and socially awkward around all these very experienced Thesps!
It all came to a head and became too much and, like dominoes, whilst it started a while back, two years on, the final domino toppled, leading to a sobbing, unhinged mess going to the doctor and asking for help.
What I learned
What I learned from a lifetime of repeating this pattern to one degree or another is: be kinder to yourself and plan ahead. It’s crucial, and it could literally save your life and your well being. It’s not about having a perfect plan, but about putting in some resources and safeguards to help you better cope when life does go sideways. Be prepared.
We’ve stated that we believe self-employment is the best choice for the neurodiverse and have gone into much detail about why we have this belief. The biggest reason is that you get to be in charge of your energy, when you need to really be present and when you need to rest.
Some days I simply have not got the capacity, bandwidth, or energy to process work. My brain is either not able to focus on the tasks I want it to do (today was supposed to be invoicing… yeah, that’s going to be tomorrow’s task now, as this blog called me to write it). But the point is, no one suffers if I push my invoicing a day. If it was “mission critical,” then of course, you make the commitment, but if I forced myself to do it today without good reason, then I just create a harder day and a less enjoyable week than I needed to. And, if I have learned anything in business, tomorrow’s another day. It doesn’t matter how much you do today, there’s more tomorrow…
That’s the key takeaway: don’t spend too many days overwhelmed, because age will reduce your capacity to cope, illness and tiredness too. One too many days where it feels like the world’s on your shoulders and your knees will buckle for real.
Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to rest. Remember:
Rest is not the reward for work; rest is the preparation for the work to be done.
Helping you
Our mission with the Business Oddcast is to help the neurodiverse harness their skills and energy to lead a freer and less stressful life, allowing you time and energy to pursue what you want most out of life and work to suit your circumstances. It’s not a “fix-all” and isn’t right for everyone, but if you can make it work you will get the precious commodity of time back in your life.
We truly believe that with the right approach and support, you can step away from the 9–5 grind (let’s face it, it’s 8–6 or more most days, with 2 days recovering at the weekend, right?!) and lead a less tiring and more rewarding lifestyle.
Being late-diagnosed gives you some perspective on what masking leads to, all the energy used creating all the coping strategies, the continual bottom-up thinking, and having to translate the social signals. A lifetime of this has given us some perspective on it all, and one thing I have noticed is that talking about your problems with the right people helps develop your skills and strategies and lets you compare notes with other like-minded people.
Which is why Hannah and I have developed the resources on the site to share what we do to help alleviate the stressors in our professional and personal lives. Our insights and guidance come from our own coping strategies, and we are sharing them because if we help just one person with anything we create, it’ll have been worthwhile.
So, we have created an Overwhelm Emergency Survival Kit, a PDF that shares some thoughts, resources, and planning documents to give you some clear strategies to help you before the overwhelm turns to burnout. If you read it and it doesn’t “chime,” that’s OK too, we are all unique, and we understand that our needs vary. But if you have a strategy that’s not covered and wish to share, we’ll happily include and credit you with full kudos for it!
The PDF can be downloaded here: businessoddcast.com/neurodiverse-emergency-overwhelm-kit
We hope that you are OK, and if you need to speak to someone then try bigmoosecharity.co for FREE emergency mental health support and therapy.
Episode 6 of the Business Oddcast is live 15th October 2025 with more insights and stories.
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