Business Networking, ooof, hard pass, amiright? Except. Hmmm… if you want to make contacts, find new customers, and grow your business, then it’s a sort of necessary ‘evil’, like public transport. You don’t wanna do it, there are all those people and the noise! But once it’s done, it’s usually not as bad as you thought it might be and your usually somewhere different after. In fact, some of it can even be kinda fun, you may have even met someone cool and interesting, like you!
Hey, look, it is what it is, and I have many years of first-hand experience that tells me: for the right products and services, small business networking is “da shit” for raising your profile, being seen, remembered, and sought after locally. If you are launching or running a small, local business, then business networking is essential — a “must-do” on the to-do list.
But, we’re ND and we don’t have to do it like everyone else. Because, if your spiced up brain lobes are already twitching at the thought of “peopling” for an extended time and being away from your safe spaces, then this blog post and episode 3 of The Business Oddcast is the cure.
So, sit back, and let Dr. Stu prescribe a killer of pain and a sooth your stressed business brain. Always remember, though, these are merely ideas, suggestions, and my lived experience. You may wanna do things altogether differently (or not at all). I merely shine the torch of hope and beckon you on to believe that your business can be better.
We urge you to consider networking on your own terms. Even if it’s just online, it’s a fantastic chance to get out there and share your specialist knowledge! As always, do not feel compelled or pressured to do any of what we share; but please ponder, adapt, tweak, and do whatever you know will work for you. It’s why we’re self-employed to be masters of our own domain.
Before we get to the 10 Tips, let’s just touch on masking. Yes, going networking may involve masking to a greater or lesser extent. So, plan accordingly and make sure you also have enough energy and recovery time set aside. We’ve written The Neurodiverse Networking Survival Guide – For Self-Employed Business Owners to give you a game plan and some further insights on how to make networking work for you, as well as some silly stuff, because just because it’s business doesn’t mean it can’t be fun!
just because it’s business doesn’t mean it can’t be fun!
Back in the early 1800s (kidding!) when I started out in business, I saw networking as a necessary evil. All that peopling, the small ::shudder:: talk, and sometimes, hugging. Oh. Dear. Lord. The humanity.
But, with a few modifications, a sprinkle of my own special interests, and some “crowd-work” skills developed from years of being an entertainer (which makes me a nightmare for normies!), I’ve mastered the art of owning the room. I’m hoping to share what I’ve learned in the past 30 years of business so you can benefit, and maybe go networking with confidence.
1) Consider what you’re wearing
Is it comfy? Do YOU feel at ease?
I wear VERY loud suits. Why? Two main reasons:
- I never got the memo that said you can only be boring in business.
- Anyone seeing me is intrigued — it acts as a filter. For some, me in a loud suit is akin to “Here be dragons.”
But that’s me. You do you. If a comfy hoodie over your fave outfit is the most comfortable thing you can wear, do that. Be professional in your attitude, look presentable, but be comfy.
2) Be different. Be memorable.
For the right reasons!
The suits cut through the “noise,” and I am never forgotten. Find your own thing, whatever that is. Maybe it’s a funky business card that highlights your skill, or an unusual stim toy that invites conversation. Whatever it is, make sure you feel comfortable with what you use to stand out.
3) Listen to others
Listening is a great skill, and not just being present while someone is talking. I mean truly listening.
For me, that can be hard in a loud environment, but my noise-canceling loops save the day here.
Listening is key in business. It also allows you to be an interesting conversationalist, too…
4) Be an interesting conversationalist
This isn’t difficult, especially if you have fantastic special interests and useful knowledge.
Chit-chat and small talk can be exhausting, for everyone, no matter their neurotype.
Having the same banal conversation several times is dull, dull, dull.
I’ve found that taking a real interest in the other person, and asking deeper or more interesting questions, sparks lively discussions that draw in others.
5) Smile
Loud environment, sensory overload, new people, maybe all standing a little too close for comfort. Smiling is probably the last thing you want to do.
As someone who suffers from flat affect, I’ve had people ask my wife, “Did I piss Stuart off?” after they said hi and I just nodded without smiling.
So, I check in with my face. I relax my jaw, unfurrow my brow, and raise the corners of my lips.
Avoid manically grinning like the Joker. Aim for a relaxed, open expression that invites others to smile back, because smiles are infectious!
6) Be generous and supportive
When you listen to someone, no matter what their business, try to be welcoming, open, and genuinely interested in their industry.
Finding out how it works gives you valuable insight into their world and lets you see things from an owner’s perspective: from key players, to current trends and pressing issues, it all adds to your education about businesses.
7) Find common ground (lie if you have to, sort of)
Okay, don’t actually lie about your achievements or skills. But if you’re having a conversation and someone raises a topic you know little about, encourage them by connecting to something adjacent.
I often have an uncle, aunt, or cousin “who did that sort of thing.” Or I might share a random fact I know about the topic. It encourages them to open up, and everyone loves to talk about themselves.
A few simple, sincere questions like,
- “When did you start that?”
- “How interesting, tell me more.”
- “How did you get started in that job/role/industry”
…can relieve conversational pressure and make the other person feel at ease.
Remember, everyone in the room feels a little awkward.
8) Own your entrance. Be fabulous. Be confident.
As a performer, you get used to making an entrance, drawing the eyeballs to you when you walk on stage or into a room. Here’s how I adapt that for networking:
- Walk into the room and pause at the threshold. Scan the entire room like you’re looking for a long-lost friend. Make eye contact (or pseudo-eye contact). Gaze across the audience.
- Pick a person or spot and walk there with purpose. Move intentionally and unhurried.
Don’t scurry across the room like a mouse.
Smile at people as you pass by. Say hi if you feel ultra-confident. Even if you don’t know them, they’ll likely say hi back.
This signals to others, and yourself, that you’re at ease, creating a positive feedback loop.
9) Thank the host. Ask about speaking opportunities.
Always, ALWAYS, send a thank-you note, message, text, or email to the host after the event.
It costs nothing and is deeply appreciated. If possible, include a review or a link to a review you left online.
Most people won’t bother, so you’ll stand out. Avoid generic social media thank-yous, they can feel like virtue signaling.
A personal message is more meaningful, and it gives you the perfect opportunity to ask about future speaking gigs or other ways to get involved.
10) Go. Frequently.
If you’ve followed the guide, applied these tips, had an okay time, and recovered… get back out there!
Support the network by attending regularly. Many groups are free, but consider the value of joining a paid network. Not everyone at free events will have the budget for your services.
While not all paid-network attendees are rolling in cash, they’ve demonstrated they’re willing to invest in their own business and that often means they have budgets for other services, too.
FINAL WORDS
These pointers work for me. Your business and circumstances may be different, but I encourage you to at least give it a go for the sake of your business.
\Many years ago, my business partner left and I had to take over marketing and sales. That meant going to networking events, something I was reluctant to do. The whole point of having a partner was so they’d handle the in-person stuff while I focused on websites and design!
But you need to sell. And in-person networking is a fantastic way to find new leads and share the value of your goods and services.
11) Final Tip: DO NOT SELL IN THE ROOM
Too often, someone shoves a business card at me while pitching their services.
That’s not how this works. Remember;
- You cannot sell to anyone until they trust you.
- And before that, they have to like you.
- Work on making them like you, and earn their trust.
If you focus on being likeable and building trust good things will happen. Don’t be a pushy, self-centered show-off who dominates conversations, doesn’t listen, and forgets to thank the host.
Be nice, and you’ll be okay.
And if you see a chap in a loud suit and a big moustache, come over and say hi!
Episode 3 of the Business Oddcast is now live with more of these types of insights and some funny stories.